They have been missing for days,

A family disappeared without a clue,

The whole town has been fazed,

And the police don't know what to do.

Do you know how easy it was to excute my plan?

It's because I'm fucking perfect,

I took, stole the whole damn clan,

Without this chef ever being a suspect.

Volunteers have joined in the search,

Even the Feds have climb aboard,

And the good people of the church,

Have even offered a reward.

I was out there leading the hunt,

Pleading on TV with every chance,

And later when I will saw my stunt,

I laughed till I pissed my pants.

It was all for naught,

They found their chopped off heads,

The killer will never be caught,

The FBI are positive he has fled.

Cutting off a head is easier than it seems,

Too bad there was only 4 lives,

Each skull came off clean,

With just a few swings from my cooking knives.

Biggest funeral the town ever saw,

Four cold grey caskets sealed,

Then they shared stories about them all,

Eulogies spoken at a church meal.

I fed the town my famous stew,

I say this to all those sinners,

The victims will always be with you,

Because tonight you ate them for dinner.