Weird and Wacky Headlines

Laugh, Yell, or Groan, or Make your own

from JoeUser Forums

"Lawmakers to Consider Spanking Ban"--headline, WCVB-TV Web site (Boston), Nov. 27

 They are tired of getting them no doubt.

"Flea's Home Destroyed by Wildfire"--headline, KXAS-TV Web site (Dallas), Nov. 26 

 No more Flea Circus

" 'Law & Order' Returns Wednesday"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 4

 Until then, every one for themself!

"Turkey Shoots at Jones Hunting Preserve"--headline, "Today's Events," Kingsport (Tenn.) Times-News Web site

 Thanksgiving Revenge!

"Former Mass. Governor Endorses Romney"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 4 

 He endorsed himself?

"Elephant Breeding Under Fire"--headline, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Dec. 4

 Last of the BIG hot lovers?

"Sixty Percent of Amazon to Be Destroyed by 2030"--headline, Pravda.ru, Dec. 6

 This book burning has gotten way out of hand!

"Arrest Warrants Issued in Malibu Fire"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 14

 Sources report the warrant went up in flames as well.

"1-ton rodent remains discovered" --headline, CNN, Jan 16

 Yea, kind of hard to hide that sucker.

"Bus Driver Allegedly Asks Decoy for Sex"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 20

 Cant trust a wooden duck!

"Montgomery Co. Police Seek Police Impersonators"--headline, WJZ-TV Web site (Baltimore), Dec. 30

 Calling all Strippers?

"Owner of the Weather Channel May Be Sold?"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 3

 Boy!  Let your ratings fall, and your life is no longer yours!

"Jeff Davis Appoints Supervisor"--headline, Hattiesburg (Miss.) American, Jan. 7

 Would that be Robert E. Lee?

"Boozing Is Good for You"--headline, Daily Mirror (London), Jan. 9

 I'll drink to that!

"Bush Says 'Hope Is Returning' to Iraq Due to Surge"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 12

 He is always there for the troops.

"Suspect in Slain NC Marine Case Spotted"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 13

 Must be a leopard.

"Cleopatra Hairdresser Dies, Aged 85"--headline, ABC News Web site (Australia), Jan. 13

 I think they forgot about 2000 years.

"Packers Know Giants Are Different Team"--headline, Associated Press, Jan. 17

 The different colored jerseys were a dead give away.

"Washington Girls Knock Off Lincoln"--headline, Examiner.com, Jan. 15

 They hate having to share their father's birthday with anyone!

"Most Women Who Abort Are Mothers"--headline, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Jan. 18

 Good to know fathers are doing it.

"Warnings of Lead in Venison Irk Hunters" --headline, Tampa Bay Online/AP, Mar 31

 Isn't that is what killed the deer?

humor
16,820 views 14 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Flea's Home Destroyed by Wildfire"


Dog prefers fleas to being aflame.

"1-ton rodent remains discovered"


1-ton cat found sleeping nearby.

"Boozing Is Good for You"--


Says The Daily Drunk News.

"Packers Know Giants Are Different Team"--


Expected to figure out mannequins are not really people soon.


Nice job, Doc. :D

~Zoo
Reply #2 from Stardock Forums Top

:LOL:  Good to see these back, Doc.

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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Expected to figure out mannequins are not really people soon.


I like yours as well! Especially this one! ;)
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good to see these back, Doc.


Thanks, It was not for a lack of material, just a lack of time. ;)
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good to see these back, Doc.


Ditto :LOL:


"Lawmakers to Consider Spanking Ban"

just too much hanky panky!

Cant trust a wooden duck!


Especially a duck that doesn't give a F@#$.

Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Lawmakers to Consider Spanking Ban"

just too much hanky panky!


Hanky Panky? or hanky spanky? ;)
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I like yours as well! Especially this one!


Thank ya...I try. :)

Hanky Panky? or hanky spanky?


Maybe spanky hanky? I'm not sure if that suggestive or not... :NOTSURE: 

~Zoo
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hanky Panky? or hanky spanky?


I don't know maybe we should ask no. 9, Spitzer?

Maybe Mr. Craig should tap in on this issue?
Reply #9 from Stardock Forums Top

:LOL: Good ones, Doc.

I like yours as well!

I liked Zoo's too. :D

"Warnings of Lead in Venison Irk Hunters" --headline, Tampa Bay Online/AP, Mar 31

 Isn't that is what killed the deer?

Let that be a lesson to all deers if you see hunters get the lead out.

"Elephant Breeding Under Fire"--headline, Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Dec. 4 

  "Arrest Warrants Issued in Malibu Fire"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 14

Well, those elephants should be arrested for breeding under the fire. Don't they have hotel rooms in Malibu?

 

 

 

Reply #10 from Stardock Forums Top

Maybe spanky hanky? I'm not sure if that suggestive or not...

Sounds like SNL and Mr. Bill. ;)

Reply #11 from Stardock Forums Top

I don't know maybe we should ask no. 9, Spitzer? Maybe Mr. Craig should tap in on this issue?

I can see this is going down hill fast!  For the better! :LOL:

Reply #12 from Stardock Forums Top

Well, those elephants should be arrested for breeding under the fire. Don't they have hotel rooms in Malibu?

The 2fers are always great! ;)

Love the additions from everyone!  It is what makes these fun.

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
I can see this is going down hill fast! For the better!


just trying to go to the (s)experts ;)
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
just trying to go to the (s)experts


Sounds good to me! ;)