How Kerry Will Repair the Nation

A New Hope?

from JoeUser Forums

In November, the ultimate battle between good and evil will take place. John F. Kerry, our Lord and Savior, will do battle with George W. Bush, the ultimat existence of evil, in an election that shall decide the future of humanity. If Bush wins, then the world will suffer four more years of relatively low unemployment, a Christian President with a Texan accent and wild daughters, ridicule by pompous European nations, and Michael Moore movies. A victory for Kerry will change all that...

Kerry promises to persuade the European nations to share the burden that is Iraq, even if France and Germany have already said that they will not do a damn thing to help us over there. It's also doubtful that Spain, Poland, and other countries that have left or are ready to leave Iraq will eagerly return under Bush's rule, but will be reluctant not to under Kerry's. By having European countries share the workload in Iraq, it will ease the burden on America. And even if the European countries rejected his request, which is unlikely, Kerry would still be able to ease the burden by removing the troops from the country. Meanwhile, Bush is single-handedly fighting a unilateral war in Iraq with the support of less than 75 nations, and he doesn't intend to leave for awhile.

Kerry will also end the terror that is terrorizing the world. Rather than treat terrorists like the enemy, he will work with them to reach an acceptable solution for them. Bush, on the other hand, will treat terrorism as a threat to deal that must be dealt with proactively. It's no wonder that terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in 2001. America has suffered more terrorism since the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan than we have before them.

Kerry also promises to revive the economy that Bush unilaterally destroyed. After four years of fumbling by Bush, the economy has not continued the booming trend that Clinton set in his terms. Not only is the unemployment rate as high as it was under Clinton's time in office, but since Bush entered office, hundreds of companies went out of business. You can thank Bush that you lost your cushiony job at World Trade Center, those sweet discounts from Pets.com, and your stock in Enron. Kerry will raise taxes for the wealthy in an effort to create more jobs, revitalize social security, ease the national debt, and fund the troops in Iraq, Afghanistan, and in the future, Sudan.

Kerry promises to bring integrity back into the White House... Just kidding about that one!

Although many questions still remain, the entire world knows that the defeat of Bush will bring a glorious victory of indeterminate change. That is why you must vote for Kerry in November. End Bush's reign of terror so that Kerry's reign of terror...uh...riffic rule may begin!

politics
15,097 views 28 replies
Reply #1 from PolMach Forums Top
Vote Change so we can see the immense amount of typed cursing coming from the authors of bloggs like this. Hope you didn't spend much time on it...
Reply #2 from PolMach Forums Top
Umm, acording to recent economic numbers, the economy is strengthening...and

America has suffered more terrorism since the invasion of Iraq and Afghanistan than we have before them.


Not true, The U.S suffered slightly more attacks.... get your facts straight...
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

I'll definitely swear a bit if Kerry wins, but let's be fair about this; there'll be swearing whoever wins. In fact, I'm positive that there'll be more swearing altogether if Bush wins. I can already imagine the reaction of the French if Bush wins: "Merde! Merde!" Then Johnny Depp's head explodes from the outrage, which benefits us all.


France. Why I'm seriously questioning taking another year of French.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
I know very few people who are claiming Kerry is some kind of saint. I know lots of people, though, who think Bush has demonstrated that he's simply not up to handling Iraq and the War Against Terrorism. For whatever reason, Bush seems to be in denial about the reality on the ground, even as generals and senators report on a hemorrhaging situation. When your team is doing badly, you change managers. When your company is doing badly, you change CEOs.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
Psst, this blog was SATIRE.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Psst: I treated it as satire, and assumed that Messy Buu is saying that (1) this stuff won't happen and (2) people who oppose Bush have overly rosy views of Kerry. Do you disagree with my interpretation? If not, can we talk about the substance of my comment?
Reply #8 from PolMach Forums Top
Good try, Messy. I, too, have failed miserably at satire, and on this very website, no less!
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top

Yeah, very bad satire...


Yes. I was trying for something around "The Onion" or "The Daily Show" quality. I'm surprised I exceeded my expectations.


Good try, Messy. I, too, have failed miserably at satire, and on this very website, no less!


We both should write for the Onion.

Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top
Messy Buu, I appreciate that you were writing satire, and I'm sorry if I responded more strongly than I should have. The problem is that we know you support Bush, that you've been critical of Kerry, and that you've said those who oppose Bush are too rosy in the way they see Kerry.

Because of your open political bias, if you're really trying to write satire that should be interpreted as humor, you'd be smarter to satirize your own side. What you did was kind of like Michael Moore writing a similarly toned piece about a second Bush term, and then saying he was just joking around, and the Republican were wrong to think he was implying Bush wouldn't be a good president.

The Onion can get away with precisely because they're an equal opportunity offender. If you're trying to emulate the Onion, you need to be just as biting when making fun of your own side. If you can do that, I really think your writing shows a lot of potential!
Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top
The point's not about trying to be as bad as the Onion. My point was that supposedly, Bush is this boogeyman that needs to be taken out of office, but what will Kerry do that's so much better? Is he going to be able to convince the nations that already said they wouldn't help in Iraq even if Kerry was President to go against the will of their people and have troops die in Iraq? How is he going to stifle terrorism? Sure, we being in Iraq pisses them off, but 9/11 happened before all of that. Were terrorists so pissed that Al Gore, an environmentalist, wasn't elected that they decided to attack the WTC? How will he fix the economy, besides hopefully not have any scandals, bubble bursts, or terrorist attacks that'll damage it? It's funny, because through all the shit's the country's been through in the last four years (and not the fault of Bush), the economy's doing pretty well to almost catch up to how it was with Clinton. For what the economy has been through for the last four years, If he's not going to be that much of an improvement, then why did Democrats decide to choose him to run for President. Were they high or is he actually the best they have?
Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top
then why did Democrats decide to choose him to run for President. Were they high or is he actually the best they have?
The very best wouldn't go off too well in a divided nation and a congress that will still be conservative.Could you imagine a close race if Kucinich, Dean, Kennedy or Clark were running?
Reply #13 from PolMach Forums Top
The very best wouldn't go off too well in a divided nation and a congress that will still be conservative.Could you imagine a close race if Kucinich, Dean, Kennedy or Clark were running?


No, but you can bet your ass Lieberman would have won.

- GX
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
Could you imagine a close race if Kucinich, Dean, Kennedy or Clark were running?


Actually, I might have been able to bring myself to vote for Dean. And Lieberman could well have won -- I could have voted for him too. But Kerry? I keep pondering it -- I really don't want to vote for Bush -- but I just can't click that box marked Kerry.

Stupid DNC.

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top
Messy Buu, regardless of what everyone is saying I am with you. I am a Christian myself and I feel the same way. Kerry is a good man I know very well I spent a lot of time researching his background to know. Especially tracking down the reasons why he did not vote on some bills. Solid reasons why every single time. The vote in Nov will set the policies in the US for the next 10-20 years. Bush is not leading us in the right direction. All he has is misleading statements the man is not able of speaking the truth. Why else would the Republicans use the age old tactic of attacking and discrediting a worthy opponent if he had a record to run on? Frankly it is the stupid RNC not DNC. The DEMS though I am no longer one myself (Independent) have a plan for this country that does not include giving favors to special interests. Bush has bent over and let every single person with money to give him some. He just passed another bill in the guise of helping the working class. Bullcrap it is just another ploy like the Medicare bill. The one where no one HAS TO leave the program they are on? My Dad was forced off his Co-pay program was paying only 180.00 a month for drugs now he has to pay almost 2000.00 a month. Kerry is an honorable man and his entire life has been devoted to serving. Bush could not make a pimple on his butt let alone be able to match Kerry in a race. The RNC is good at being liars and cheaters when it comes to elections. Look at Tom Delay and his recent scandals.

Liberman was and is just like Bush. His views are out of the main stream big time. Dean was not my choice it has been Kerry all the way. Spend some time doing some investigation people instead of listening to talking heads and falling in behind party lines and mottos. Bush is going to make this country less safe not safer wake up people!!

I enjoy this so much I created some political forums at my website. Not as good as Blogs but it feeds my political habit. http://www.neotechgaming.com if anyone cares to read or take part in my forums. Kerry all the way!!
Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Satire I missed that I did not read it carefully.. Silly me!! Bush is a looser always was always will be the only looser of the family I might add.
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top
Messy Buu, this was a very good piece of satire! As evidenced by the kool-aid drinkers being taken in by it!

I was literally !

You get 5 gold stars for this one!
Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
Not true, The U.S suffered slightly more attacks.... get your facts straight...


It is still MORE correct?
Reply #19 from JoeUser Forums Top
Helix, maybe you missed my post in this converation:

"I know very few people who are claiming Kerry is some kind of saint. I know lots of people, though, who think Bush has demonstrated that he's simply not up to handling Iraq and the War Against Terrorism. For whatever reason, Bush seems to be in denial about the reality on the ground, even as generals and senators report on a hemorrhaging situation. When your team is doing badly, you change managers. When your company is doing badly, you change CEOs."
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
I know from spending about 8 months researching all his history. I also know from talking with my Brother who was in Vietnam who knew someone who knew Kerry. He was considered to be a great leader someone you could depend on. Most politicians are crooked look at how much money they spend to get in an office that will never return the monies spent.

Why are you posting in political threads if you think that? Bush is the worst President in history just look at all the failures. Name on thing he did that is not underfunded or has been completed? The whole issue here is that most of you only know what you find on websites and talking heads. Has any of you actually investigated any of the rhetoric being said to see who is telling the truth? I can tell NONE of you have at all or you would not be supporting Bush and his Neo-Conservative buddies. Mark my words if Bush is elected America will not be a super power much longer. Out source our freedom next, heck he has done that already.

Nice Comment not everyone likes Bush.. All is not lost!! Here is a video of Kerry vietnam record done by a game company who is releasing a game of that War Era. I posted it on my website you will need quicktime to view it. http://www.neotechgaming.com/main/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=438

Its a great video and it would also be nice if someone would look up history on the dude who is attacking Kerry swiftboat vets for truth. All Paid for by the Nixon adminstration. Not one thing Bush team is saying is true now one thing!!
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top
I agree with blogic, "...Bush seems to be in denial about the reality on the ground, even as generals and senators report on a hemorrhaging situation. When your team is doing badly, you change managers. When your company is doing badly, you change CEOs." It's time for a change. Lets put someone else in there who will clean up the mess that has become our countries legacy. There are just too many people out there who are out of work, underpaid, hungry children, seniors need help, working families need more than they're getting in every possible way. I'm not talking about hand-outs here. There are so many programs that have been cut since Bush got into office. If the Bush-era is so great, why are there still so many people out of work, children in need, people suffering in general?
Reply #22 from PolMach Forums Top
Liberman was and is just like Bush. His views are out of the main stream big time. Dean was not my choice it has been Kerry all the way.


See leftie Demican you can't even see the middle so you can't be a moderate, which Lieberman is a Moderate!!

LIEBERMAN IS A MODERATE SOMETHING THIS COUNTRY NEEDS MORE THAN A LEFTIE DEMICAN OR A RIGHTIE REPUBLICRAT TO MEND THE DIVIDE.

Demicans and Republicrats keep promoting the myth that 'only two parties can exist', which the lemmings will buy right into it by saying 'I am choosing the lesser of two evils', you don't have to choose either of their asses, vote TRUE change not change as proposed by a Demican or Republicrat (who share the same view on the Border issue and other issues), but change to a new person, new party, new ideas.

Voter Stupidity is 'voting for the lesser of TWO evils'.

Voter Intelligence is 'voting for NO evil.'

- GX
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top

I know very few people who are claiming Kerry is some kind of saint. I know lots of people, though, who think Bush has demonstrated that he's simply not up to handling Iraq and the War Against Terrorism. For whatever reason, Bush seems to be in denial about the reality on the ground, even as generals and senators report on a hemorrhaging situation. When your team is doing badly, you change managers. When your company is doing badly, you change CEOs."


Maybe I am mistaken and people don't think of Kerry as a saint, but they certainly do think that Bush is the devil, which is yet another reason why it's so disappointing that they chose to run with Kerry. Sure, when a company's doing badly, change CEOs, but the company should at least choose a decent CEO that would be a good CEO even in other circumstances. Kerry wouldn't even have a slim chance if people didn't hate Bush with such a passion.


Why are you posting in political threads if you think that? Bush is the worst President in history just look at all the failures. Name on thing he did that is not underfunded or has been completed? The whole issue here is that most of you only know what you find on websites and talking heads. Has any of you actually investigated any of the rhetoric being said to see who is telling the truth? I can tell NONE of you have at all or you would not be supporting Bush and his Neo-Conservative buddies. Mark my words if Bush is elected America will not be a super power much longer. Out source our freedom next, heck he has done that already.


Things might be as bad as you say, and even if they were, Kerry is offering no significant improvements.


Bush might end the legacy of America, but I'm positive that people's unwillingness to strive for better leaders will end it first.


Messy, I got a chuckle out of it..what's weird is I've yet to see in any blog all the things Kerry will do to fix the problems left behind Bush. Everytime someone has been asked to prove these things, all you see is.. ^ Kerry is a good man, he's a saint, Bush is evil..fear the hitlereqsue anti-christ. I'll give Kerry credit, he's got his voters as confused as he is.
Atleast Bush voters know what to expect


Exactly how I feel. I don't see Kerry living up to the hype and voting for him just because one hates Bush is like going back to the bad ex-boyfriend because the girl's in rebound mode.


See leftie Demican you can't even see the middle so you can't be a moderate, which Lieberman is a Moderate!!


It's one reason why I like liberal Republicans and conservative Democrats. I don't know if they can be considered moderate, but they are definitely much closer to the center than Democrats or Republicans who consider their own parties to be too conservative or liberal, respectively.


Demicans and Republicrats keep promoting the myth that 'only two parties can exist', which the lemmings will buy right into it by saying 'I am choosing the lesser of two evils', you don't have to choose either of their asses, vote TRUE change not change as proposed by a Demican or Republicrat (who share the same view on the Border issue and other issues), but change to a new person, new party, new ideas.


I do hope more people that are fed up with both parties don't simply vote for the lesser of two evils this time. Accepting mediocrity will do more harm to the nation than four more years of any President (except Jimmy Carter ).

Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top
"Bush is the worst President in history just look at all the failures."


ain't that cute. Kids are so funny...

This false "state of the Nation" that Dems are screaming about is soooo transparent. It's like the Emperor's New Clothes. They somehow see Hoovervilles and internment camps and hughe unemployment lines, when in reality there simply isn't anything there to back it up.

If most of these people weren't told by their robot overlord Kerry that "times are bad", they would never, ever see the difference between now and 1999...
Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
Messy; please!!! Carter is still trying to figure out where all the oil is coming from?