Dazzlin' Divas on my living room couch
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Ever have one of those days where you think you would have been better off staying in bed, or at least not moving from the couch? Today has been like that, and so was yesterday... in fact, I think that's been my week, quite possibly my life.
However, I did promise more footage and a directors commentary... so away we go!
I still haven't gotten over the wierdness of having been F's wingman Friday night. I have no idea why he was so shy. He's good looking, has a good sense of humor and has everything you would look for in a one night stand. I mean he has more than that, but that's for me y'know? Every one that he did muster up the courage to talk to said all of those things to him so he has to realize that I wasn't just humoring him because that many strangers wouldn't lie to you... I mean, after all Toto.. we're not in the South any more. Back where I'm from people cannot tell you to your face that you are unattractive so most Southerners are operating under the opinion (whether it's true or false is not my place to say it) that they are good looking simply because no one, in polite company, has ever told them other wise. This is not the case in the Mid-west... especially in a Gay bar.
I don't know what it is, but it has *always* been my experience that if a Gay man tells you that you look good, then you can take that to the bank.. even if he is from the South. They may be the ultimate unbiased bastions of determining what does and doesn't look good. Well, it always makes me feel better when a Gay man tells me I look good.
However I have digressed, or so I think. I would find it strange to have my significant other scoping out the action for me. I don't think I could let F pick up a woman for me. I'm too direct that way. I much rather have control over the process and not have the other person come over and talk to me because they feel bad for the poor little shy girl. I would much rather have them approach me and think I'm a hot mama yama.. or something like that.. any thing but pity. If I'm going to get laid, I really don't want sympathy sex.
I think the strangest experience of the night by far though wasn't in listening to the sex sounds wafting from my living room. For the most part that was comical. If you have ever watched a Porn film and just closed your eyes and listened, you would know what I'm talking about. When you are removed from the situation the sounds of sex are so foriegn and alien that it's sometimes all you can do to stop laughing. I know I had to actively control the giggles. I mean, if I could hear them grunting and groaning I'm sure they would be able to hear me guffawing. .. that's such a funny sounding word. Guffaw. But it works though.
The wierd part was after Diva left and F came into the bedroom. He was naked, which wasn't surprising, but also quite forthcoming with the details, and let me tell you... they were things I could have lived without knowing. Now I wonder, at what point should discretion kick in? Should I tell you all of the sultry details or let you just imagine them for yourself? Well, I can't keep good gossip to myself.. I finally learned about the mystic art of Rim Jobs. I think that firmly qualified as something I didn't need to know, but as soon as I found out I was quite insistant on F going and brushing his teeth... twice.. and using Listerine... for the full 30 seconds. Then he explained through the mouthful of toothpaste that he received and not gave and I'm not too terribly sure if that was comforting or not. Kind of gave me the creeps to be perfectly honest. Then he has the nerve to tell me that Diva was, how shall we put this... better equiped downstairs. Now I'm jealous! Don't get me wrong, F isn't a slouch.. but still! He gets to have all the fun!
After all these adventures Friday is it any wonder why I didn't feel like going out on Saturday? I was just too exhausted and all I did was drive, scope and order the drinks.
I'm working on my application to turn into the bar. I'm going to include a list of all of the reasons that I should get hired. It's going to be lighthearted, mainly an attempt to highlight my personality, which I think is the main ingredient in being a successful bartender.. that, and a kick ass Long Island Iced Tea.
Well, that's all for today. I've got to get some books and rent a movie for tonight.. F has to work and I get to veg out a bit.. yay for me. Next articles topics will include traffic jams with college students and why it sucks when someone breaks into your apartment. I might even talk about my cats, but that might be boring, unless I tell you about the time......
However, I did promise more footage and a directors commentary... so away we go!
I still haven't gotten over the wierdness of having been F's wingman Friday night. I have no idea why he was so shy. He's good looking, has a good sense of humor and has everything you would look for in a one night stand. I mean he has more than that, but that's for me y'know? Every one that he did muster up the courage to talk to said all of those things to him so he has to realize that I wasn't just humoring him because that many strangers wouldn't lie to you... I mean, after all Toto.. we're not in the South any more. Back where I'm from people cannot tell you to your face that you are unattractive so most Southerners are operating under the opinion (whether it's true or false is not my place to say it) that they are good looking simply because no one, in polite company, has ever told them other wise. This is not the case in the Mid-west... especially in a Gay bar.
I don't know what it is, but it has *always* been my experience that if a Gay man tells you that you look good, then you can take that to the bank.. even if he is from the South. They may be the ultimate unbiased bastions of determining what does and doesn't look good. Well, it always makes me feel better when a Gay man tells me I look good.
However I have digressed, or so I think. I would find it strange to have my significant other scoping out the action for me. I don't think I could let F pick up a woman for me. I'm too direct that way. I much rather have control over the process and not have the other person come over and talk to me because they feel bad for the poor little shy girl. I would much rather have them approach me and think I'm a hot mama yama.. or something like that.. any thing but pity. If I'm going to get laid, I really don't want sympathy sex.
I think the strangest experience of the night by far though wasn't in listening to the sex sounds wafting from my living room. For the most part that was comical. If you have ever watched a Porn film and just closed your eyes and listened, you would know what I'm talking about. When you are removed from the situation the sounds of sex are so foriegn and alien that it's sometimes all you can do to stop laughing. I know I had to actively control the giggles. I mean, if I could hear them grunting and groaning I'm sure they would be able to hear me guffawing. .. that's such a funny sounding word. Guffaw. But it works though.
The wierd part was after Diva left and F came into the bedroom. He was naked, which wasn't surprising, but also quite forthcoming with the details, and let me tell you... they were things I could have lived without knowing. Now I wonder, at what point should discretion kick in? Should I tell you all of the sultry details or let you just imagine them for yourself? Well, I can't keep good gossip to myself.. I finally learned about the mystic art of Rim Jobs. I think that firmly qualified as something I didn't need to know, but as soon as I found out I was quite insistant on F going and brushing his teeth... twice.. and using Listerine... for the full 30 seconds. Then he explained through the mouthful of toothpaste that he received and not gave and I'm not too terribly sure if that was comforting or not. Kind of gave me the creeps to be perfectly honest. Then he has the nerve to tell me that Diva was, how shall we put this... better equiped downstairs. Now I'm jealous! Don't get me wrong, F isn't a slouch.. but still! He gets to have all the fun!
After all these adventures Friday is it any wonder why I didn't feel like going out on Saturday? I was just too exhausted and all I did was drive, scope and order the drinks.
I'm working on my application to turn into the bar. I'm going to include a list of all of the reasons that I should get hired. It's going to be lighthearted, mainly an attempt to highlight my personality, which I think is the main ingredient in being a successful bartender.. that, and a kick ass Long Island Iced Tea.
Well, that's all for today. I've got to get some books and rent a movie for tonight.. F has to work and I get to veg out a bit.. yay for me. Next articles topics will include traffic jams with college students and why it sucks when someone breaks into your apartment. I might even talk about my cats, but that might be boring, unless I tell you about the time......
You're gonna turn my head and fill me up with all kinds of warm fuzzies 
