Getting Michael Moore
How Dare He Use Our Own Words Against Us?
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
"Condi, what have you and your folks got to spike this Michael Moore thing? That movie is costing us votes."
"The best thing to do is nothing, Mr. Vice President. Just ignore him and the movie. The more we tear him down, the more people go to see the film."
"Not good enough. What about arresting him for filming the Saudi embassy?"
"Even Ashcroft doesn’t think that’s enough to arrest him. Besides, if we do, we give him even more publicity. It would be worth 100,000 votes."
"But, Dale Earnhardt took his entire crew to the movie and said it is a good thing to see. When that happens, we’re in quicksand in the American heartland. NASCAR fans are our people."
"I know, Mr. Vice President.
"He must be a Muslim. Where in Michigan is he from? Flint? Have the FBI break into the mosques around there and see if he is on the membership rolls."
"There is no reason to believe he is a Muslim. Besides, just because someone practices Islam does not mean they are hostile."
"Well, what could it be? You think he hates people who are more successful? He’s pretty fat and seedy and he never went to college from what I hear. Just the son of an autoworker."
"That must be why he goes looking for trouble, giving companies and the government a hard time."
"I believe you’re right, Condi. Tell you what, let’s start digging up stuff on him. Is he gay, girlfriends drop him, been molested by priests, filed bankruptcy, read Karl Marx? Maybe he’s a Taliban."
"What if we don’t find anything? What if he’s clean?"
"He can’t be. Nobody’s clean. Nobody. "
"No one’s ever turned up anything bad about him. He’s overweight, rumpled, unshaven and he makes movies that tick off GM, the gun industry, companies that offshore their operations, and us."
"He’s got to do something. Drive a foreign car, not drive a car at all, look at Internet porn. He’s un-American. He’s a traitor.
"It would seem that way, but he is just exercising his free speech rights, Mr. Vice President."
"But he’s telling a bunch of lies."
"He’s using stuff we said at different times. He has us on videotape, saying that there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Then he has more tape of us, saying there are such weapons. How do we fight that?"
"I don’t know. Fighting videotape is hard. He’s using our own words against us.
"That’s why I say he’s a traitor. He’s causing trouble because he doesn’t have any loyalty. Being disloyal is un-American. I don’t even see how he can sleep at night. He has made a business out of giving honest businessmen a hard time."
"Well, he has found a product that sells: I guess that makes him one of us."