On gratitude and rudeness

The pleasures and curses of skinning

from JoeUser Forums
I'm blessed - I'm paid to devote my life to Stardock and working to help it keep it turning out more products and skins that is humanly possible for the number of staff. Well, I'm paid for a working day - lets just call the rest love and blame timezones.

However, sometime skinning just annoys the hell out of me. I tend to restrict myself almost exclusively to working with DesktopX on the grounds that I don't have time for anything else. I've been lucky to be involved with the product since before it was even known as DesktopX so although I am far from a great scripter I am able to turn out a fair amount of reasonable quality stuff.

Now some people appreciate this. I wish I'd kept a list of all the kind emails and comments so that I could look at it on a bad day. I've had great fun working on collaborations, and again, I do get paid for most of this stuff.

HOWEVER, some people really do seem to thing you owe them everything. Now, I'm more than happy to deal with support emails relating to the objects I've made and spend time everyday doing so, but some comments and emails just piss me off. There are three types of thing that typically annoy me:
1) "Assistance" - Sometimes people just don't get stuff and need clarity on how to do something. This accounts for many emails ... "Hi, thanks for the object XXXXX, but I'm a little unsure how to ...". Cool, I can deal with this, but I get all to many that are just "How do I XXXXX?". No "Hi", no "please", no "thankyou" and typically no effort to actually achieve what is confusing them. Why the hell should I reply politely to these people? I don't know, but I do.

2) "Suggestions" - A lot of my work is better because of suggestions. I welcome them because I don't always think of everyting straight away, and sometimes other users need things I hadn't considered. Some people however seem to think "It should do this" or "It should do that" are "suggestions. These suggestions don't get implemented.

3) Complaints - Sometimes there are issues with objects and widgets. Sometimes it's my fault, sometimes not. A lot of mails and comments are helpful or descriptive in the way they are made and enable me to rectify problems. Others however tend to say "The font is wrong". Wrong how? Size, place, script etc etc. How the hell am I supposed to do anything to help these people? Sometimes it's a lack of awareness that I need more info, but sometimes you just know that they are just stupid!

... oh, and I just thought of number 4

4) Stupidity - Some people take the time and effort to comment or mail something along the lines of "this object sucks!". Well don't use it and don't waste my time you f*#kwit !!!

Sorry ... rant over."
community
7,507 views 11 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yeah. Glad I read this 'cause occasionally I try to be efficient and not waste time with pleasantries when I'm suggesting/complaining. Shouldn't do that when there's a person on the other end. Thanks for the reminder.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top

Martin, I totally know how you feel.

For me, the scope is even wider as I take it badly when our software gets rudely flamed.  Every time I make a news item on Neowin, for instance, a bunch of 15 year old geeklings jump on and use phrases like "fugly" or "Sucks" to describe it.  They have no idea what they'r talking about and they probably have the IQ of a walnut but it is still annoying.

Elemental: Reforged
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
Hi! I really enjoyed your article. I really identified with you because I was a payphone operator once. I placed collect, thirdparty, and credit card calls. for some reason, people think they can be mean to someone if they're not face to face with them or if they're ensconced in their automobile (road rage). The phone operator or the techie is not a real person. They're automatons, present to provide the customer with flawless service and if they do not anticipate the customer's every need, desire, and whim, the customer may at any time fly off the handle at them. Right?

Now, I teach high school. It seems when it comes to parents, sometimes they can react this way too. I know they do this with umpires. It's really ridiculous. I don't know what all this irrational rage is about in our country. I think our country needs to go back to some serious manners and polite upbringing in the home... maybe that would remedy it. Maybe.
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
Martin, in my short time using Desktop X I have downloaded and used many of your objects and/or widgets. They are all great quality and very usable. I don't know enough yet to make suggestions, but just wanted to say thanks for your work. More and more quality objects are popping up and it is really helping to make Desktop X more funcitonal. (and this from someone who didn't think he would ever use it!)

Thanks again for your work!
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
I don't know what all this irrational rage is about in our country


I think the fact that this occurs on all the sites to do with skinning show that it's not a "national" issue but rather a minority culture. Being British (though not Mary Poppins British) I was beginning to wonder if I was just overly sensitive to these things, but it appears not!

Thanks again for your work!


Thanks BlueDev. This post wasn't fishing for compliments, but thanks anyhow
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
I can understand your rant somewhat. Back when I was helping out at a game site, I used to get emails asking for help and I would ignore those emails that really have absolutely no trace of basic manners whatsoever.

"How do you do this?" Like you said, no please, no thank you, no hi and sometimes no sign off.
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Thanks BlueDev. This post wasn't fishing for compliments, but thanks anyhow


I know you weren't Martin. Just wanted to take the opportunity to say thanks anyway.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Wow you sure nailed it!
Reply #10 from WinCustomize Forums Top
Martin,

I agree 100%, and this also extend to people commenting on skins as well. I cant stand the "THIS SKIN SUCKS" or "YOUR A MORON FOR...." I just don’t get why people cant live by the rule "If you don’t have anything nice to say... SHUT UP!". I love this site for the amount of great people willing to help, but I also hate this site for the slamming people do. Why? What joy do you get out of slamming on someone who just spent day, week, months working on something they think rocks?

I try my best to be polite, to say thanks, please, etc. I think if I don’t my mom would find out and beat me, LOL.

I was told by someone on this site "Don’t post things to a public board if you cant take criticism", that’s really nice isn't it? I Post things because I want to share what I do with the world, not to have someone tell me how stupid I am for not knowing how to do this or that. If you have that kind of “comment” then email it, don’t slam someone in a place where it will be seen by the entire world, what is the reason for that?

Live by the rules, Be Nice, Say Please, Say Thank you, and don’t say things you wouldn’t say to your wife, mom, or daughter.

Thanks again for your DX objects, and for showing us morons out here how to make things work, and make them do things we wouldnt have thought of on our own. You provide a great service, and I for one am very glad you continue to do it.

RomanDA