1 Minute Lesson on the Democratic Ticket

from PolMach Forums
The Democratic Ticket for 2004:

Tonight the DNC will vote on who the presidential candidate will be. John Kerry will be the Candidate undoubtedly.

My Notes on the possible candidates:

Mr. John Kerry:
-French Looking
-Self-avowed War Criminal
-Flip-flopped from Anti-War status to “War Hero” status
-Vain (Got Botox injections)
-Shot a man crawling away on his hands and knees in the back
-Has won three purple hearts.
-Threw them back. Or did he???
-Ultra-Leftist voting record in Senate


Mr. Edwards:
-Too young looking (More botox???)
-”Girly Man”
-Everyone’s favorite type of guy: A Lawyer

My notes on other people:

Mrs. Teresa Heinz-Kerry
-Ketchup Heiress
-Liar
-Pennsylvanian (Not really a bad thing)
-Has an accent
-Controls between $900 million and $3.2 billion dollars part of which goes to extreme Left wing causes to extreme left wing causes eg. MoveOn.org


Mr. Kerry, my conservative friends are getting tired of your constant doom and gloom campaign speeches. From what we understand you are a war criminal? Or are you a War Hero? Mr. Kerry, Mrs. Kerry, and Mr. Edwards, if I could borrow a quote from the ketchup heiress, “Shove it!”
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Reply #2 from PolMach Forums Top
If I could borrow a phrase from Mr. Cheney, "Go f*** yourself."


Henry,
What I was trying to say was that the liberal Mass Media eg. CNN only jumped on this in a feeble attempt to appear unbiased or impartial. I personally haven't heard any of the Republican leadership jump on this statement (that dosen't mean some haven't). And that only shows the Democrat's tactics of attacking people on issues unrelated to the campaign (The purpose of this article). Therefore it's satirical in nature.
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