5027, A Terran Marine's Story

This is just a preliminary story.(It has only been edited once, just by a friend.)   I just want some feedback for the book.

Has anyone read this?  

Chapter 2

When I awoke, the next morning, I nearly hit my head on Bud’s old bunk.
I gotta find Bud!
I had slept in my armor, and I was sore, so I took a quick shower. I put on a white shirt and some army edition khakis with boots.
Then I ran down to the Medical Wing.
When I found him I shook him from his sleep. I know I shouldn’t have but I really need to get his attention fast, before I forgot who the guy was.
“Bud! I know who the guy was!”
“Mmm…Wha? Who?”
“The guy who made the ship, he was my college roommate; he said he was going to join the ERCFST and that he was going to create a new ship! They haven’t come out with anything since, so that must be his!”
“Tell me everything!”
So I told him about my old roommate, Jack, and the ship he said he would design. He had said that his ship could go faster than light its self. That the weapons were better than any other, the Armor could withstand pounding from legions of ships. And that only two men were needed to run it.
“It’s better than I thought…”
“I think that I might help, seeing as my old friend is involved with this.”
“Good! I need your help to get out of here!”
“What? You need to stay here to heal! Your all beat up!”
“I have an old friend that owns a place on Earth that has everything we need…”

Chapter 3

Date: December 18, 5026
Earth Research Center For Space Technology

“Jack you need to finish this!”
“I will soon, Dentrin.”
“We need to come out with something soon, or they’ll shut us down. Do you realize that it’s been over a year since we’ve had a new ship or technology?”
“Yes, and this will solve both problems.”
“It better.”
Jack headed over to the large hunk of metal sitting in the middle of the workshop.
“When this is completed, the Terran military will be unstoppable.”
“If, it is completed,” Dentrin says to himself.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Dentrin was a strange figure. He was half human and half some type of alien that gave him a rock-like appearance. He was one of those who were shunned, unless their combined abilities gave them the advantage over other species.
“Dentrin?”
“What?”
“If this ship is given to the Terran Alliance, then all their enemies will be gone.”
“Well, that will be a good thing.”
“Yes, but then we’ll become old and fat. Then some rouge from Tantus will come in and kill us.”
“Oh, please…”
“Seriously, even if we have all the technologies that could allow us to wipe the faces of galaxies now, we would never be able to do that if we become too self assured.”
“Good night jack, don’t stay too long.”
“I won’t.”
Dentrin headed back out the door to the shop. Jack just kept working diligently on his ship.
krrack…
A far off breaking piece of metal echoes into the workshop.
“Hmm… What was that?”
Krrack…
“Wha?...”
KRRACK!
Suddenly the air vents exploded and men in black suits with laser pistols in their hands leaped down into the workshop. One walked over and said…
“Open the door, grab your tools, and load your ship onto the freighter.”
That was the last anyone saw of Jack.

Chapter 4

Date: March 20, 5027
Kulbar, Kulbar System
Military base 173

“You’ve got to make a distraction so I can get out of here.”
“You can’t move anyway!”
“I have my ways.”
“Well what should I do?”
“You can get them all out of here.”
“Well, How??”
“Tell them that a chemical bomb exploded, or that the enemy has forced his way in…”
“Well I’ll try; you just get out of here…where should I meet you?”
“Meet me at our walker.”
“Roger”
I made my way to the staff station. When I got there I was lucky, no one was there. I inserted my keycard into the intercom, and luckily it worked. They must never have expected me to do this, or I wouldn’t have access to this.
“Attention everyone, a chemical package that is harmful to humans has burst, please leave the facility calmly and quickly.”
I heard a bustling in the distance, and suddenly it seemed that every person in the base was going down this corridor. There were nurses pushing men on carts down the hallway, and I was looking for Bud, but I couldn’t find him. So I headed to the walker bay and that was empty, too. Apparently that was the right “distraction”, as Bud called it.
I entered the six legged walker through the front hatch. I found that all the controls, motors, and cannons were warmed up and ready to go.
“Bud?... Bud?…” I called.
“I’ve been waiting for you, where you been?”
“Trying to avoid the Sergeant, I had to use my keycard to announce over the intercom.”
The keycards were a new way for the military, and government, to keep track of everyone. You had to use it from shopping to opening a door. I was disgusted by them.
“Oh, let’s get going,” He said.
“First I want to know how you got out of that room, and up here.”
“I can’t tell you that, kid.”
“What? I’m your partner!”
In crime, too.
“I’m sorry, trade secret.”
“I’ll find out eventually.”
“I’m sure you will.”
We started up the walker and headed toward the door.
“How are we going to open the door? Someone is usually there to do it.”
“If we can’t go through it, then we make a way through it.”
“Are you saying we blow up the door?”
“What else?”
“OK, it’s your fault if we get caught!”
“Just fire them already.”
“I’m just trying to find a spot where I can blow it up with just one hit.”
“You’ll never do that.”
“Why?”
“Those things are five feet thick, with lots of Durasteel.”
“Ok, then here goes, I’m gonna try a plasma burst.”
Plasma was the militaries newest weapon. Just a few nano-seconds of power would rip through a lot of durasteel, at the expense of quite a bit of power. But we were at a terminal, so I hooked up and got ready to fire.
“Go for it, Kid!”
“Here goes!”
Fzzzt…
“I don’t think that worked, Bud.”
“Me neither.”
“Let me try again, but with a longer burst.”
“Three, two, one…”
KABOOM!
The blast threw the ten ton walker back a full hundred yards, nearly flipping us, in the process.
When the smoke cleared we saw the door. Yes, it was still there, though we had created a huge dent in it.
“Maybe we should just get out and open it.”
“Yea, that way we can check the damage on the walker.”
We got out of the side hatch, and while I went to open the door, Bud checked the walker.
“Hey Carson,” He called.
“Just a sec.”
I inserted my keycard onto the lock and the door started to open. Just as soon as it started to open a guy popped in.
“Bud! Get in the walker!”
“Hey, what are you doing,” the guy asked.
“Getting out of here,” I replied.
“Hey you…”
I hated to do this but I smacked him on the side of the head, knocking him out.
“Hurry up, Kid, there’ll be more!”
I sat down at the walker controls, and gunned the throttle. I had never gone full throttle in one of these before, and for their bulk you would think they were slow. But man these were fast! The thing went from rest to all out speed. We must have been going a sixty miles an hour in a vehicle that weighed ten tons!
“Slow it down Carson, we don’t want to flip!”
I lowered the throttle down to forty. We didn’t want to get caught by anyone else.
“I wonder why that guy was standing there.”
“They were probably trying to seal off all the exits, and didn’t want anyone going back in there.”
The terrain was rocky and so I slowed the walker down some more. The walker crushed most of the rocks, but some were pretty large. Stepping on them could topple us.
Finally I asked the question that had been trying to bubble out of me for the last few minutes…
“Bud, where are we going?”
“We can either head back and hope one of the heavy rockets aren’t guarded, or look for a settlement that has one.”
“Why a heavy rocket?” I wondered aloud.
“We want to take our walker, where ever were going, right?”
“Well, we do want some protection…So what are we doing?” I asked again.
“Oh, what the heck. We’ll get better machines back at base.”
“OK, you just get those cannons armed.”
“What for?”
“There’ll be someone guarding the rockets!”

Chapter 5

From the moment we reached base we were in trouble. The men there knew that a walker had been taken, and they were prepared for the enemy to engage them. Good thing they thought that the enemy had tried to draw them out, and not us. But this made it hard for us to get in. They had the base on full alert; every man was out trying to catch the enemy.
We made it over to the rocket launch pad with ease. The hard part was to get a rocket, and to load our walker into it.
“How are we going to do this Bud?”
“First we look for a rocket to nab, then we figure out the rest. Oh, by the way,” Bud said slowly, “When I called for you in the walker hanger? Well, I called to you because the walker has several chunks of durasteel stuck in the forward armor shields.”
“Well that’s not going to hinder us much… will it?”
“One of them is stuck through the main power cable…”
“Oh, shoot… what are we gonna do?”
“After we get it in the rocket, and we blast off, we can turn off the walker and pull it out and seal it. I just hope they still carry the emergency sealant on the rockets. They still don’t know that that stuff is incredibly strong, strong enough to stop the vacuum of space.”
“Look at that one, it’s ready to launch!”
“Ok, you take out the men around it, and I’ll get the walker in the rocket.”
“Kill the men?!”
“No, are you crazy! We still need them, just knock them out!”
“Ok, see you in a bit.”
I left the walker and snuck up to the rocket. I knew the men would be more alert, so I snuck up on one that was alone. He went down silently.
The rest of them were going to make me work. They were standing together on the left side of the rocket. I saw Bud in the walker and he sitting with his guns pointed at the men’s backs. I hurriedly signaled NO, NO! But he didn’t pay attention. But I saw that the cannons weren’t charging up to fire a regular charge, they were glowing blue, a stun charge- for crowd control.
He fired the cannons and one shot took out all three guys. I ran over the cockpit of the rocket and saw that the starter card was already in the slot. We were in business. I lowered the rear ramp so Bud could run the walker in. I saw men running toward us. They’re fast at responding to cannon shots.
I made sure that the walker was completely in and closed the ramp. Bud came through the door behind me, and got in the navigator/gunner’s seat. I guess I was driving.
“Get in and take off!” He yelled.
“All right! I’m going!”
I hurriedly sat down in the seat and started up the engine sequence.
“Two minutes to lift off. Better hope the skies are clear!”
…
“Engines warm, coordinates entered, lift off sequence standing by. Starting engines.”
Mmmmmmm…
“Nice engine start,” Bud commented.
“She’s a bute!”
We lifted off just as the men running towards us got near. If they hadn’t turned and ran away just as they did, they would have been toast. Literally.

Is anyone read this?    

Damn! I am now. First time i saw the post was today. Nice going so far.

Good show, keep it up.

I'm still working on my 6th chapter, it'll be out soon.

Cool, i thought for a minute you might have given up....

Chapter 6

Date: March 21, 5027
Somewhere in outer space

As we rocketed away from Kulbar towards Earth we worked on the walker. It was a mess; I had never had the chance to get a close look at it. There were hunks of metal lodged in the armor across the front of the walker. One especially large chunk was stuck in between the forward cannons.
“How are we gonna get that out,” I asked.
“With this…”
He was holding a rectangular remote with several buttons and fingerpads.
“What does it do?”
“It controls the cargo mover,” he explained, “We just move it near the walker and latch it onto the piece of durasteel, then pull.”
“What do we use to attach the mover to the durasteel?”
“You’re all questions aren’t you?”
“Pretty much.”
We hooked the mover to the durasteel chunk with a hook through a shred in the steel. It took a lot of pulling and grinding but finally the steel chunk came out.
“That’s a pretty good sized chunk,” Bud commented.
“I’ll say… where is the sealant?”
“It should be in one of the emergency lockers, if they still have it.”
“Where are the lockers?”
“Over by the window.”
Questions, Questions!“I’ll check. What? normal space? Bud…,” I trailed off, “oh man…”
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHH…THOCK!
The whole ship shook under the impact of a large meteor, though the deflectors took most of the punishment.
“Bud! Were in an asteroid field!”
“Get to the helm!”
We ran to the cockpit of the rocket. All we saw through it was asteroids, meteors, and space debris.
“We came out of the Jump too quickly!”
I had set the navigational computer to start a hyperspace jump when we were out of the mass shadow of Kulbar. We came out of it far too early.
“How did we come out so early?” I pondered.
“That could be our problem,” Bud said pointing at the massive ship that loomed before us. It was a Seta- Class Dregnaught, which had a surprising enhancement; it contained Gravity well projectors which mimic mass shadows, therefore forcefully pulling us out of our jump.
I hurriedly sat in the pilot’s seat and took control of the ship.
“Good thing you chose this ship, Bud, I need the maneuverability.”
He had chosen a Frigate that was combat upgraded with enhanced shields and weapons emplacements. It also had advanced maneuverability fins attached behind the Ion Engines.
“Well you just get us to Earth in one piece.”
“I’ll try!”

Sorry for the delay... I couldn't write for a while.

Chapter 7

Crack! Boom! Crack!
We were pummeled by laser fire from the huge Cruiser.
“We can’t take much more of this!” I yelled.
“Then get us out of here!”
“What do you think I’m doing!”
“Even given the circumstances, I’m still your superior officer!”
“You won’t be anything if you don’t help me!”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Get to one of the gun emplacements,” I told him.
He hurried back to the rear of the ship, and almost immediately after I heard laser fire returning to the Assault Cruiser.
“Carson, you need to get out of here, the rear shields can’t take much more,” I herd Bud say over the commlink.
“I’m trying I’m trying.”
The ship creaked and groaned as I put it through it’s paces, I never thought we’d get clear of the carrier’s cannons, but finally we did.
Then suddenly it hit me, what happened when a carrier’s target get’s out of range of it’s cannons? It launched it’s fighters.
“Kid, I’ve got a bunch of blips on my radar.”
My mouth went dry, we were going to be attacked by some of the best pilots in the galaxy, and we’re on the same side!
“Bud, can you estimate when we’ll be free from the gravity well projectors?”
“I have no frikin idea. Just try to jump.”
“You got it.”
I punched in the coordinates of earth, 0:00:000, the easiest coordinates ever.
VRRRRRRROOM!
We took off into the depths of hyperspace.

The next chapter will be soon in!

It's not bad. You could put the different chapters in different articles.

Will be back to read more soon. First I saw this as well.