New Directions

No longer lost

from JoeUser Forums
I've posted more articles in the last few days than I've posted in a year...no earthly idea why. Here's today's drek.

About a year ago, I was doing a late night gig - somewhere around here - and it *seemed* to me that it was close to where I live, so I invoked my right as a unit leader to drive my car there leaving the job of taking all our gear back to the bandroom to my subordinates. I really should have gone with them because I got really really really lost.

It took me about 3 hours to find my way home which was about 10 miles away. I absolutely SUCK at directions.

Anyway, last month, my loving wife decided to purchase that nice new tech - a TomTom Go910 GPS. This thing is the shit.

I picked a "british female" voice (you get to choose from several) and now she kindly tells me "In 800 metahs, tuhn shahply left." "Tuhn around at your earliest opportoonitay" etc...

I was taking Jason home today - he already shipped his car off, and he said "Man...they need a jive voice for this thing."

"Cracka what the fuck! You missed your turn, yo. Turn the fuck around! Aww man...how you gonna act?"

or what he called a Chiconiks mod. (J is hispanic)

"Yo homes...when you get up to dis street, take a left, mane."

Anyway, not much of a blog...just passing some time. :)

Anyway, it's a fun toy, and I'll never be lost again.
2,238 views 4 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
I need one of those. I can get lost going around the block. It's sad.

The Jive voice thing is kind of hilarious. Think of all the stereotype voices we could come up with - the twangy, texas country dude, "Well over yonder you'll see a big ol' tree, you're going to hang a left there", The midwest with some ya's and oh jeeze's thrown in , surfer dude talk, valley girl talk, oh definately a spongebob or patrick voice, that would be awesome. A Darth Vader voice. A Yoda directions - "it it the left lane you seek" And how about a latin lover voice - that would be my pick.

You could also have a whole annoying voice subsection, Ray Ramano directions, Gilbert Gottfried directions, whiny four year old girl directions, ooo Paris Hilton directions - I 'm sure those would still get you lost.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
Yoda...haha. "MMM...left you should turn." Or maybe just "Clear your mind. Directions you need not. The force shall guide you, mmm?"

All brilliant suggestions, but I think I'd have to commit sepuku if I used the Gilbert Godfried one
Sins of a Solar Empire II
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top

YOu do great voices!

Do they have Majeel Barrett?  I kind of got use to computers using her voice.

Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
I dunno...but I hope I do get credit for knowing that's Nurse Christine Chapel and Gene Roddenbury's wife (and Lwaxana Troy, but that one's too easy.)

Oops...my nerd is showing...pardon me.