If recent reports are to be believed (and considering the source it would be remiss to engage in even a moment's doubt) I am anti-American.

It's an interesting idea. I'm certainly anti- a lot of things. It's plausible that I would be against Americans. After all, I'm critical of their foreign policy, their domestic policy - damn near everything about their political system bugs me in some way, whether for incompetence, insanity, bloodymindedness or that oh-so-American obsession with mythical 'rights' to the exclusion of all else.

But is that really all there is to America?

I hadn't thought so. But apparently it is. American film, TV, music, style and a certain charming naivete are, I suppose, not included in the American concept of self.

You see I have a confession to make - I really, really like American culture. Don't get me wrong - the gun fetishes and the curious obsession with unintelligible gangsters and trailer trash don't really make much sense to me outside of the arena that was Jerry Springer. I find it practically impossible to imagine a place in which such people could flourish. I mean it's like with a nature doco - you see rats or some other odd creature doing weird and/or disturbing things, and the only way you can explain it is "It's a rat, it's not doing this in my world". That's how I feel about Jerry Springer Americans. They just don't seem fully human, if you understand what I'm saying - I couldn't imagine seeing them on the street, for example, or going to the supermarket, or sitting next to me in a pub.

So maybe that's a symptom of my anti-Americanism. I dunno. But what is clear is that there is lots of American things I love. South Park, for one, and the society that despite seemingly espousing a deep and bitter loathing for everything South Park represents (subtlety, humour at the expense of prats etc) nonetheless will fight for its right to keep going. I like Fox News. It's so unbelievably absurd. I mean, have you seen the opening for their show about blogging, with those two chicks slamming their fingers on the keyboard in a highly embarrassing attempt to seem 'wi' it'? 24 hours of solid gold all day every day. Oh, and whilst 90% of American live TV shows are awful the remainder are brilliant and more than make up for their crippled and loathsome brethren.

Then there's American music. The US has so many amazing bands. I won't bother to list them.

American styling - So many of the things I use in daily life are based off American designs and concepts. It would be impossible to describe just how much.

So if culturally you like a nation, but politically you think it is, at best, a dangerously unthinking barbarian, does that make you anti-it? I guess so.

It's a shame, but I suppose I should look on the brightside - if I can be anti- the things and places I like, then it's going to be much easier to put together the amalgamation of prejudices and loathings that make a truly masculine man.

And that is all anyone could ever want.