Love is

and Love is not

from JoeUser Forums
Love is not breakfast in bed… love is a box of tissues and a bottle of Nyquil when you have a cold. Love is not chocolates for Valentine’s Day, love is chocolate during “that time of the month”. Love is not cut flowers… love is remembering to water the potted plants. Love is not fireworks… love is friendship. Love is not perfections… love is compromise.

We do not expect the love of family and friends to complete us. We do not expect their love to make us happy. We do not expect their love to be perfect. We do not expect them to be perfect. So why do we force these unrealistic ideals on romantic relationships? We search for “soul mates” who can make our lives better, when we lack the ability to make it better for ourselves. We more readily and easily accept the imperfections in those closest to us, yet we deny the possibility that our lovers can be imperfect.

What do these ideals do to us? Do they keep us from loving? When our lover has a flaw, do our ideals cause us to discard them to search for someone “better”? Do we use our ideals to shield ourselves? Are these ideals the walls we build around our hearts to keep from feeling, loving, hurting?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 4-7
1,969 views 7 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
So true, Sugar High Elf.

I remember in the movie "Good Will Hunting," Robin Williams give a great monologue. In it, he mentions one of his wife's imperfections. Then, he adds that it was the stuff he missed after she died. The imperfections are what make us human.

I do not like to be in a relationship where I'm worshipped and put on a pedestal. It sets me up to fail and I will eventually fall from it. I've been reading a lot about unrealistic expectations myself. I think the ideals exist because of the who the other person wants to be. The other person may see independence, focus, and maturity that they do not have in themselves in the othe person. They aspire to have to those qualities.

I think if people are unwilling to compromise, the relationship becomes one-sided and selfish. It's the other person saying "my needs are important, not yours." It's not love then, just two people hanging out, not wanting to be alone.
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
So true, Sugar High Elf.

I remember in the movie "Good Will Hunting," Robin Williams give a great monologue. In it, he mentions one of his wife's imperfections. Then, he adds that it was the stuff he missed after she died. The imperfections are what make us human.

I do not like to be in a relationship where I'm worshipped and put on a pedestal. It sets me up to fail and I will eventually fall from it. I've been reading a lot about unrealistic expectations myself. I think the ideals exist because of the who the other person wants to be. The other person may see independence, focus, and maturity that they do not have in themselves in the othe person. They aspire to have to those qualities.

I think if people are unwilling to compromise, the relationship becomes one-sided and selfish. It's the other person saying "my needs are important, not yours." It's not love then, just two people hanging out, not wanting to be alone.
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
You are absolutely right. So many want the falling in love excitement to last forever but real, enduring love is so much more than that.

I had read somewhere to replace your name for love in that bible verse. It's what we should aspire to. It really changed my perception. Amy is patient, Amy is kind, etc..
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
It is so unfair to expect another person to make your life perfect for you. I try to live by one rule: I cannot be with another another person until I am a person. I need someone who compliments me, not completes me.

(And by compliment, I don't mean he tells me I look pretty... I mean we go well together)

I had never heard to replace Love with my name before. That makes it very interesting.
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
What a great post -
I'll modify one:

love is going to the store for her tampons and buying nothing else to pad the order and not making her feel bad about it.

You do it all willingly - happy to serve.

Happy Valentine's Day
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Moskowitz
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top
love is going to the store for her tampons and buying nothing else to pad the order and not making her feel bad about it.


Oh, my. I've never asked a guy to do that for me... but I'm sure it will happen one day. And I feel sorry for him when it does.

Good one!
Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
Happy Valentine's Day! Or Single's Awareness Day! Whichever you prefer...