packing my shit, hitting the road
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
jeff and i had it out over the phone last night. once again, my instinct proved correct. he lied to me about everything. i've been loving him for so long now, and these past few months, i feel like i've only stuck around because i really liked him as a friend. now i know that he has no regard for my feelings, and would prefer to spit out his lies than be real. and i can't be friends with that. i can't believe-- i truly cannot believe that this is happening in this moment. i was sure that he would change, get help, open up to me, be real, grow up, blah blah blah... and i'm numb. i am so far past my feelings being hurt about this, but it is still so very hard to imagine my life without him in it. craziness....
i think i'm gonna sell some shit, make some quick cash, get rid of everything i don't need anymore (including jeff), throw some shit in my car and drive to california. my dog charlie and i can chill out on the beach and visit izzy and learn how to surf and start a new life.
dude- i'm 21. i'm pretty and smart and funny and outgoing and all these other amazing things that people never realize they were or are until they are too old and gray and can't change a thing about their youth. i am perfect and free and SICK of this dysfunctional relationship and my dysfunctional family.
i wanted him more than i've ever wanted anything, and it almost killed me. i have the opportunity to choose again, and i choose ME. if you’re not with me, you’re against me, and i want nothing to do with you. anything less than EXTRAORDINARY is a waste of my fucking time. this goddamn relationship has been sucking the life out of me. i am so tired of being used and abused. i am so tired of fighting. i am done with the lies, deception, shadiness. i am so fucking done with being blamed for him not being able to tell me the truth. i am tired of feeling less than i am because he is afraid to deal with his issues. goddamn, i said goddamn! i am done!!!
his idea of begging for me to come back to him after he TOLD me to leave was to say, "you're welcome to come back now" HA!
why the hell have i been dealing with this so long? this love business is overrated. who needs it? i want friends and FUN. i want to find some young buff tanned gorgeous happy surfer in california and i want him to say "I FUN YOU!"
who gives a shit about love if this is what it does
someday i'll love someone and he'll love me and we'll be happy healthy fun encouraging allowing inspiring real bold daring intuitive respectful truthful insightful and rich :)hehe
i know i ramble. i have to get it off my chest. i'm gonna go see eternal sunshine of the spotless mind now.
thank you for sticking with this blog. my advice to you for the day is take care of yourself first. never let a day go by, much less a year when you are too focused on someone else’s needs and wants. be kind to yourself.
blessed be,
natalie
i think i'm gonna sell some shit, make some quick cash, get rid of everything i don't need anymore (including jeff), throw some shit in my car and drive to california. my dog charlie and i can chill out on the beach and visit izzy and learn how to surf and start a new life.
dude- i'm 21. i'm pretty and smart and funny and outgoing and all these other amazing things that people never realize they were or are until they are too old and gray and can't change a thing about their youth. i am perfect and free and SICK of this dysfunctional relationship and my dysfunctional family.
i wanted him more than i've ever wanted anything, and it almost killed me. i have the opportunity to choose again, and i choose ME. if you’re not with me, you’re against me, and i want nothing to do with you. anything less than EXTRAORDINARY is a waste of my fucking time. this goddamn relationship has been sucking the life out of me. i am so tired of being used and abused. i am so tired of fighting. i am done with the lies, deception, shadiness. i am so fucking done with being blamed for him not being able to tell me the truth. i am tired of feeling less than i am because he is afraid to deal with his issues. goddamn, i said goddamn! i am done!!!
his idea of begging for me to come back to him after he TOLD me to leave was to say, "you're welcome to come back now" HA!
why the hell have i been dealing with this so long? this love business is overrated. who needs it? i want friends and FUN. i want to find some young buff tanned gorgeous happy surfer in california and i want him to say "I FUN YOU!"
who gives a shit about love if this is what it does
someday i'll love someone and he'll love me and we'll be happy healthy fun encouraging allowing inspiring real bold daring intuitive respectful truthful insightful and rich :)hehe
i know i ramble. i have to get it off my chest. i'm gonna go see eternal sunshine of the spotless mind now.
thank you for sticking with this blog. my advice to you for the day is take care of yourself first. never let a day go by, much less a year when you are too focused on someone else’s needs and wants. be kind to yourself.
blessed be,
natalie