you can take the girl out of the city ...

... i am poking fun at myself here. this is me being funny, ok ? ;)

http://www.loserturdmafia.com/
from JoeUser Forums

i agreed to mind pets during a neighbours’ holiday.


it was later explained that these “pets” were two hundred juvenile frogs.

i somehow failed to make my revulsion sufficiently clear to my neighbour.



i had to DO it !

i !


i, with my twin fears of hundreds of anything and natural aversion to mucus of all kinds.

i, with my inbuilt mistrust of anything involving “nature”.


i babysat frogs.



i am a sydney girl.

stuff happens there. (albeit, usually not to me).

for 33 years my idea “roughing it” was being forced to survive sans hairdryer or coffee for a half-hour whilst the power was off during renovations.


when we arrived last year in a tiny village on the north coast of nsw, i discovered, to my dismay, that i was not perfectly suited to the “country” life.


i was, in fact, not even remotely suited to the country life.

i did not adapt to my new environment in the stylish way i had hoped.



my adjustment phase lacked charm of any kind.



i did not wake cheerful with the birds at the start of each day.

i instead lay awake many mornings plotting to kill the birds and their ceaseless fucking squawking.



there was a mouse in my kitchen.

(the mere fact of this alone would have been enough).



i did not handle the rodent palaver in an adult way.

i opted rather to hurl myself across the room in a most undignified and unbecoming way.

like some sort of freak, really.



needless to say, i did not at first enjoy the “wildlife” aspect of my new home.


since the removal of the mouse, however, i am restored at least to sanity. for the moment ;)
724 views 3 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Do you ever get snakes? I imagine you would see a few yeah???

Also, did you lick the frogs? I know there are some toads you can lick, but i wonder if you can lick frogs? either way, i dont think it is something i would try!!!

Talk to us in a few years time, i bet you will practically be mother nature by then!!! I am sure will adapt!

BAM!!
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
hehehe...you gotta have some humor to deal with one's eccenticity :) Cute story, hope you'll adjust to your new environment in time :)
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Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
jayasri, i figure, if nothing kills me first, i will be fine in a few years. thanks for your nice comment. drop by anytime. :)

muggaz. snakes. ewww. we do get them. i personally have only encountered two. one was on the sand track at the beach and a guy was telling me "step over it, it's harmless". huh. as if. i ran so fast i left skid marks.

the other one i "met" was somebodys' pet in the paradox of: (a) being lucky enough to be "minded" by someone who was also "minding" (apparently not scrupulously) a small parrot; and (b) being unlucky enough to now be unable to exit the birdcage due to the bird wedged in it's stomach.

and frogs. no, muggaz. big no. i did not lick them. it did not even occur to me to do such a thing. why did it occur to you ?. ;). hehe. what an interesting fellow you are muggaz. (particularly since your knowledge of err, life, seems to extend to the boundaries of poison toads licked to release a hallucinogenic rumoured to trigger wild sexual abandon, and beyond). ;). mig.