I love you! (Just don't get fat!)
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JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
Love is all about balance. Getting things just right. Give and take between two people. Balance of trust. Balance of physical attraction. Just an all round good feel. I was talking to my friends bf today. Nice boy. The word 'boy' is key here. I actually like him. I think he cares about my friend, and has genuine good intentions towards her. For that, in my book he is a good guy. However, I am guilty of sometimes pushing my opinions down other peoples throats, and just jumping all over them, and basically getting over excited. It's something I am working on, but I still mess up every now and then. We was discussing the future. If one day he would like to get married, what he thought the right age was, just general conversation. Then he made a comment, that just really got me. He told me, that if the woman he was with gained weight after they were together for a while, he would most likely have to finish with her because he would be no longer attracted to her. What the hell??? Maybe this is just me, because my friend thought this was perfectly reasonable and didn't seem to have a problem with it. You have to have physical attraction in a relationship, don't you?
Well yes, that goes without saying. Relationships are based on so much more than that though. What is she going to do? Watch everything she eats, just incase she adds a few pounds and is no longer physically attractive to him. To me that kind of comment is just ridiculous, and shows him for the little boy he is. What about when she has children? Is she allowed to gain weight then? Or is that a big NO? He should love her for who she is. The person who he lies in bed with, and talks to until he falls asleep. The person he trusts more than anyone. The person he wants to make smile. The person who he wants to protect. He should love her for who she is. Granted if she became huge, and needed assistance getting her fat ass off the bed, I can see where he was coming from. Then it might be an issue, but gaining a few extra pounds? Is that a reason to finish someone?
He and I were discussing how when women get older, they generally gain weight. Which isn't always the case. My Mum is super slim, and is almost the same size as she was when she was my age. So that doesn't always happen. However, generally speaking, women do gain a little weight. He just thinks that is well out of order. In his eyes, that is just a woman letting herself go. No longer having respect for herself, or the partner she is with. At this point I just wanted to shake him. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I just don't see it. I have to say at this point I did get a little annoyed with him. I tried to point out, that sometimes these things just happen. They just creep up on you. This is when we got his most priceless comment of the whole conversation, and really showed me I was fighting a losing battle. He informed me that women who get older, and gain weight, obviously plan to do so. They pencil it in the calender. This month I am going to get fat! What fun! How I will feel wonderful about myself. Grrr....stupid boy! He told me he just couldn't be with a woman who just didn't respect herself to stay slim. That's when I made a decision, if this is what bfs are like, I don't want one. Pass me my chocolate ice-cream instead!
Well yes, that goes without saying. Relationships are based on so much more than that though. What is she going to do? Watch everything she eats, just incase she adds a few pounds and is no longer physically attractive to him. To me that kind of comment is just ridiculous, and shows him for the little boy he is. What about when she has children? Is she allowed to gain weight then? Or is that a big NO? He should love her for who she is. The person who he lies in bed with, and talks to until he falls asleep. The person he trusts more than anyone. The person he wants to make smile. The person who he wants to protect. He should love her for who she is. Granted if she became huge, and needed assistance getting her fat ass off the bed, I can see where he was coming from. Then it might be an issue, but gaining a few extra pounds? Is that a reason to finish someone?
He and I were discussing how when women get older, they generally gain weight. Which isn't always the case. My Mum is super slim, and is almost the same size as she was when she was my age. So that doesn't always happen. However, generally speaking, women do gain a little weight. He just thinks that is well out of order. In his eyes, that is just a woman letting herself go. No longer having respect for herself, or the partner she is with. At this point I just wanted to shake him. Maybe it is just me. Maybe I just don't see it. I have to say at this point I did get a little annoyed with him. I tried to point out, that sometimes these things just happen. They just creep up on you. This is when we got his most priceless comment of the whole conversation, and really showed me I was fighting a losing battle. He informed me that women who get older, and gain weight, obviously plan to do so. They pencil it in the calender. This month I am going to get fat! What fun! How I will feel wonderful about myself. Grrr....stupid boy! He told me he just couldn't be with a woman who just didn't respect herself to stay slim. That's when I made a decision, if this is what bfs are like, I don't want one. Pass me my chocolate ice-cream instead!
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