Weird Things People Do
http://www.sammy4u.com
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
INNER SKELETON
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil,
suffering from abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a
20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It
had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.
FEMALE SOFA
A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the
examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found
under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the
folds of her vulva.
PRICKLY PAIR OUCH!
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He
complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him
during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn I don't think).
After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical
needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE?
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He
said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then
his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel
(as you do)?!!. The concrete then hardened (no shit!), causing
constipation and pain.
Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was
removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy, have I led a sheltered life!)
BLIND DRUNK
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while
trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out
halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a
suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and
discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody
restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman
had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they
had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner.
Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral
sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic
fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from
side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and
stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!
Now go out and enjoy yourself.
Sammy
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil,
suffering from abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a
20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It
had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.
FEMALE SOFA
A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital. During the
examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found
under one of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged between the
folds of her vulva.
PRICKLY PAIR OUCH!
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his penis. He
complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him
during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn I don't think).
After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a surgical
needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.
PING PONG ANYONE?
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He
said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix, then
his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a funnel
(as you do)?!!. The concrete then hardened (no shit!), causing
constipation and pain.
Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was
removed along with a ping pong ball. (Boy, have I led a sheltered life!)
BLIND DRUNK
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while
trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out
halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a
suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and
discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.
OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in bloody
restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman
had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they
had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner.
Overcome with passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral
sex to the man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic
fit, which caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it from
side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and
stabbed her in the head until she let go.
And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!
Now go out and enjoy yourself.
Sammy