My complaint about Lord Kona

Hilarious!!

Lord Kona's philosophies are so rife with ignorance, erroneous information, and poorly conceived notions of insurrectionism that I hardly know where to begin. Even disregarding obvious errors like his insistence that doing the fashionable thing is more important than life or liberty, the fallacies of his claims are glaring to those of us who have educated ourselves about the implications of radicalism. The rest of this letter is focused exclusively on Lord Kona, not because I harbor any ill-will towards him but because he has a strategy. His strategy is to provoke terrible, total, universal, and merciless destruction. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Lord Kona. Life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is he so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? If you need help in answering that question, you may note that a central fault line runs through each of his ruses. Specifically, I can say one thing about him. He understands better than any of us that psychological impact is paramount -- not facts, not anybody's principles, not right and wrong. I'm not suggesting that we behave likewise. I'm suggesting only that there's something fishy about Lord Kona's warnings. I think he's up to something, something invidious and perhaps even goofy.

I can only speak out against behavior and speech that is intended to lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity if Lord Kona's self-indulgent claque is decimated down to those whose inborn lack of character permits them to betray anyone and everyone for the well-known thirty pieces of silver. There's a lot of talk nowadays about Lord Kona's bad-tempered tirades but not much action. Lord Kona says that profits come before people. Should we care that large numbers of what I call nit-picky vandals actually believe such hectoring things? Should we try to convince them otherwise? I don't think so. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that avaricious authoritarianism and Lord Kona's paroxysms are one and the same. But you knew that already. So let me add that Lord Kona's victims have been speaking out for years. Unfortunately, their voices have long been silenced by the roar and thunder of Lord Kona's operatives, who loudly proclaim that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world's people are all utterly justified. Regardless of those insensitive proclamations, the truth is that I find that I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that some people just don't realize that stuck-up, devious exhibitionists often take earthworms or similar small animals and impale them on a pin to enjoy watching them twist and writhe as they slowly die. Similarly, Lord Kona enjoys watching respectable people twist and writhe whenever he threatens to engulf the world in a dense miasma of blackguardism.

I think we can unequivocally say that all of the bad things that are currently going on are a symptom of Lord Kona's prodigal endeavors. They are not a cause; they are an effect. The best thing about Lord Kona is the way that he encourages us to take steps toward creating an inclusive society free of attitudinal barriers. No, wait; Lord Kona doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, he discourages us from admitting that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to understanding why the public perception is that he is the type of person who would shoot you just to see if his gun worked. My peers claim that his grandiose promises of plenty for each have yielded grinding poverty for all. While this is undoubtedly true, I aver we must add that there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Lord Kona doing some hopeless thing every few weeks. To put it crudely, Lord Kona's most progressive idea is to exploit the general public's short attention span in order to mortgage away our future. If that sounds progressive to you, you must be facing the wrong way. My eventual goal for this letter is to stop Lord Kona's encroachments on our heritage. I'm counting on you for your support.

http://www.pakin.org/complaint

Created Using Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator

61,496 views 23 replies
Reply #2 Top
I thought this was funny when I generated it...
Reply #3 Top
Although the space allotted here can't possibly suffice to elaborate in detail on the long list of El Conquest's rapacious endeavors -- including the unconscionable, the rummy, the disaffected, and especially the intolerant -- I'll use what little space I have to change the world for the better. So, without further ado, I present you with this all-important piece of information: Whenever anyone states the obvious -- that we live in a deeply troubled society -- discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "Why can't we all just get along?" There aren't enough hours in the day to fully answer that question, but consider this: If there's an untold story here, it's that El Conquest's serfs always show a streak of cruelty that enables them to find pleasure in their destructiveness. I'll say that again, because I want it to sink in: The scores of goose-stepping slaves to fashion who comprise El Conquest's band must all be held accountable for helping El Conquest work hand-in-glove with Pecksniffian, rancorous cadgers. Most pundits are uncertain about the magnitude of the threat posed by El Conquest's quips. Not that I've come to expect any better from El Conquest. Everything I've said so far is by way of introduction to the key point I want to make in this letter. My key point is that it's not the boogeyman that our children need to worry about. It's El Conquest. Not only is El Conquest more pernicious and more dysfunctional than any envisaged boogeyman or bugbear, but El Conquest should do some research next time before printing half-truths and misinformation. Nevertheless, I can state with absolute certainty that I recently heard El Conquest tell a bunch of people that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. I can't adequately describe my first reaction to this notion; I simply don't know how to represent uncontrollable laughter in text. While most people know this like a schoolchild knows that 2+2=4, no one need be surprised if our culture's personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the living shape of El Conquest. Let me recap that for you, because it really is extraordinarily important: If you think that El Conquest has answers to everything, then think again. Testy, irascible ex-cons like him always lie. Even an occasional truth is intended only to cover up a bigger falsification and is therefore, itself, a deliberate untruth.

El Conquest pompously claims that he is entitled to impede the free flow of information. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. The more pressing news is that he fears nothing more than the exposure of his motives and activities. Don't make the mistake of thinking otherwise. El Conquest does, and that's why he constantly insists that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. But he contradicts himself when he says that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones. I claim that we are observing the change in our society's philosophy and values from freedom and justice to corruption, decay, cynicism, and injustice. All of these "values" are artistically incorporated in one person: El Conquest. He is swinging pretty hard on some slender evidence. But even if we disregard all that and examine only his headlong hastily mounted campaigns, this seems to me to be enough to show that he must have some sort of problem with reading comprehension. That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why he accuses me of admitting that my bitterness at him is merely the latent projection of libidinal energy stemming from self-induced anguish. What I actually said is that El Conquest is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of foolish speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list!

El Conquest's monographs are based on a technique I'm sure you've heard of. It's called "lying". Others may disagree, but I contend that El Conquest spouts the same bile in everything he writes, making only slight modifications to suit the issue at hand. The issue he's excited about this week is gangsterism, which says to me that in these days of political correctness and the changing of how history is taught in schools to fulfill a particular agenda, the entire premise of El Conquest's ideals is incredibly offensive to any self-respecting person. That shouldn't surprise you when you consider that he has spent untold hours trying to fortify a social correctness that restricts experience and defines success with narrow boundaries. During that time, did it ever once occur to him that his worshippers are so ready to rip apart causes that others feel strongly about that their wisecracks are laughable? Whatever the answer, there's no shortage of sin in the world today. It's been around since the Garden of Eden and will undoubtedly persist as long as El Conquest continues to make human life negligible and cheap. A final word: El Conquest is controlling and demanding.
Reply #7 Top
By the way these are inteded to be funny..
Reply #9 Top
What a waste of mine and everyone else's time to post this nonesense . If you have no real input regarding galactic civ 2 other than to debate the ethical and moral actions of A fictional character why bother .
go write yourself a blog
Reply #10 Top
Nice posts, I got a laugh from them.

Thanks
Reply #11 Top
What a waste of mine and everyone else's time to post this nonesense . If you have no real input regarding galactic civ 2 other than to debate the ethical and moral actions of A fictional character why bother .
go write yourself a blog


that is why I put it in the off-topic posts...Just tring to spread the fun.. I love the game I just thought that I could use the fictional character easily so I did.. I thought it was funny how it was so alike to the Lord Kona we all know..
Reply #12 Top
I am writing to express my dismay and concern over Pmutzu's prurient revenge fantasies. I would like to start by discussing Pmutzu's bromides, mainly because they scare me. The thing I'm the most frightened about is that many people are shocked when I tell them that for all Pmutzu's bombast about freedom, liberty, and tolerance, he still wants to send children to die as martyrs for causes that he is unwilling to die for himself. And I'm shocked that so many people are shocked. You see, I had thought everybody already knew that no one has a higher opinion of him than I, and I think he's a closed-minded, slimy crook. Well, let's get our facts straight. Pmutzu has gotten away with so much for so long that he's lost all sense of caution, all sense of limits. If you think about it, only a man without any sense of limits could desire to brainwash the masses into submission. Listen up: If opportunism were an Olympic sport, he would clinch the gold medal. You may have noticed that Pmutzu should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery, specifically, his ego. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, Pmutzu has the nerve to call those of us who call your attention to the problem of atrabilious proponents of diabolism "conspiracy theorists". No, we're "conspiracy revealers" because we reveal that given the amount of misinformation that Pmutzu is circulating, I must unequivocally point out that if he continues to reinforce the impression that testy doofuses -- as opposed to Pmutzu's buddies -- are striving to monopolize the press, crime will escalate as schools deteriorate, corruption increases, and quality of life plummets. We must build a true community of spirit and purpose based on mutual respect and caring. We must transform our culture of war and violence into a culture of peace and nonviolence. And we must issue a call to conscience and reason. Please join me in incorporating these words into our living credo.
Reply #13 Top
You know what would be really cool? This, hooked up to a voice synthesizer.
Reply #14 Top
If you think the Dregnin are up to something, then what must the Atlarians be doing with all their goody-goodness?

In this letter, I will do my best to make my arguments against Netromancer clear and articulate. I plan to utilize numerous examples and maybe even some occasional humor so as not to strain your patience as I delve into immense detail about how Netromancer displays the paranoid malice that is the hallmark of true antidisestablishmentarianism. Let us note first of all that if it weren't for obnoxious sideshow barkers, Netromancer would have no friends. When I say that his bons mots make many mainstream converts to chauvinism nervous, I don't just mean that he wants to let down ladders which the antisocial, immature, and savage scramble to climb, that he wants to evoke a misdirected response to genuine unresolved grievances, or that he wants to wage an odd sort of warfare upon a largely unprepared and unrecognizing public. Sure, Netromancer undeniably wants all that, but he also wants much more. He wants to pit race against race, religion against religion, and country against country. It will not be easy to preserve the peace. Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that, for the overriding reason that I respect the English language and believe in the use of words as a means of communication. Irritable bludgers like Netromancer, however, consider spoken communication as merely a set of noises uttered to excite emotions in dastardly, insidious psychics in order to convince them to maintain social control by eliminating rights and freedoms.

Anyone with an IQ two points higher than a wet sponge's knows that no reasonable person would deny that Netromancer's biases form a vast brainwashing and brain-contaminating machine, which has worked, on the whole, with great efficiency. But, even so, I will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment.

Let me say that it is hardly surprising that Netromancer wants to place our children at imminent risk of serious harm. After all, this is the same gloomy, cuckoo slave to fashion whose grungy prattle informed us that a richly evocative description of a problem automatically implies the correct solution to that problem. Quite simply, in a rather infamous speech, he exclaimed that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. (I edited out the rest of what he said because, well, it didn't really say anything.) I would like to put forth the possibility that Netromancer's nostrums are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. I hope I haven't bored you by writing an entire letter about Netromancer. Still, this letter was the best way to explain to you that the best advice I can give to a group is to act as a positive role model for younger people.
Reply #15 Top
Sounds like a Democrats speech.
Reply #16 Top
Sounds like a Democrats speech.


lol!

Reply #17 Top
I wonder what would happen if i generated a complaint about this post... LOL
Reply #18 Top
Wow... It made on werid complaint
Reply #19 Top
It will certainly surprise some people to hear me say this, but this is one letter that cheese doesn't want you to read. Before I begin, let me point out that I want to give people more information about cheese, help them digest and assimilate and understand that information, and help them draw responsible conclusions from it. Here's one conclusion I honestly hope people draw: Cheese can't attack my ideas, so it attacks me. It could be worse, I suppose. It could shift blame from those who benefit from oppression to those who suffer from it. There are some simple truths in this world. First, it's considerations of this sort that make it worth our while to learn about the high-handed things cheese is up to. Second, our attempts to call people to their highest and best, not accommodate them at their lowest and least, have so far served only as a divertissement for cheese and its functionaries. And finally, cheese wants us to believe that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. How stupid does it think we are? That's the question that perplexes me the most, because when it tells us that a book of its writings would be a good addition to the Bible, it somehow fails to mention that almost every discussion of sectarianism ignores the critical importance of its pusillanimous, fastidious declamations. It fails to mention that its moral immaturity is a perilous failing and an insult to the celebrated virtues of our ancestors. And it fails to mention that you may make the comment, "What does this have to do with flighty boors?" Well, once you begin to see the light, you'll realize that it just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to contaminate clear thinking with its intrusive ruses."

If we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to criticize cheese's complicity in the widespread establishment of Pyrrhonism. To put this in context, cheese loves getting up in front of people and telling them that its reports provide a liberating insight into life, the universe, and everything. It then boasts about how it'll manufacture and compile daunting lists of imaginary transgressions committed against it in the blink of an eye. It's all part of the media spectacle that is cheese. Of course, it soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, I do not have the time, in one sitting, to go into the long answer as to why cheese places its indelible imprimatur upon a form of pauperism that is fundamentally, pervasively, and inescapably crude. But the short answer is that I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, "The ideological fervor of cheese's helots springs from their desire to displace meaningful discussion of an issue's merit or demerit with hunch and emotion." I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way, but rather, because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that cheese has stated that it has the authority to issue licenses for practicing barbarism. One clear inference from that statement -- an inference that is never really disavowed -- is that those who disagree with it should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. Now that's just devious. It has long been obvious to attentive observers that cheese's orations often lash audiences of lascivious ne'er-do-wells into wild storms of applause. But did you know that at no point in its response to my last volley of criticisms was it even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought? It doesn't want you to know that because it sees itself as a postmodern equivalent of Marx's proletariat, revolutionizing the world by wresting it from its oppressors (viz., those who appeal not to the contented and satisfied, but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented). During the first half of the 20th century, credentialism could have been practically identified with McCarthyism. Today, it is not so clear who can properly be called an inane fink. Cheese's obiter dicta are more than just cynical. They're a revolt against nature.

Cheese is planning to demonize my family and friends. This does not bode well for the future, because you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: It coins polysyllabic neologisms to make its sophistries sound like they're actually important. In fact, its treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary. Cheese is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside itself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of its wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. I see two problems with cheese's ideals on a very fundamental level. First, forbearance and kindly deportment are lost upon it. And second, honor means nothing to it. Principles mean nothing to it. All it cares about is how to create a climate in which it will be assumed that our achievements reflect not individual worth, talent, or skill, but special consideration. Cheese speaks like a true defender of the status quo -- a status quo, we should not forget, that enables it to sully my reputation. Cheese likes to wreck our country, derail our civilization, and threaten the human race with extinction. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, cheese and its secret police will run for cover, like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That's why we must make efforts directed towards broad, long-term social change. Let me conclude by saying that we who want to challenge cheese to defend its treatises or else to change them will not rest until we do.
Reply #20 Top
Here's my complaint about the complaint...

Although I generally believe that the less said about "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest", the better, I do feel obligated to say a few things about "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s stuck-up litanies. To get immediately to the point, "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" is reluctant to resolve problems. It always just looks the other way and hopes no one will notice that it may seem difficult at first to break the mold and stray from the path of conventional wisdom. It is. But if you intend to challenge someone's assertions, you need to present a counterargument. It provides none. Unlike "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest", when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if -- and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty" -- it were not actually responsible for trying to take over society's eyes, ears, mind, and spirit, then I'd stop saying that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s occasional demonstrations of benevolence are not genuine. Nor are its promises. In fact, I know some phlegmatic swaggerers who actually believe that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" acts in the name of equality and social justice. Incredible? Those same people have told me that it is a model organization. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s off-the-cuff comments are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're totally muzzy-headed, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, if it were up to "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest", schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. If "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" wants to complain, it should have an argument. It shouldn't just throw out the word "semiprofessionalized", for example, and expect us to be scared.

The notion that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" can be reformed into an upright and honorable organization may be a pleasant and attractive thought. But people who believe that this can happen should ask it of Santa Claus, in whom they doubtless also believe. All I can tell you is what matters to me: "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s loyalists are easily manipulated. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" has declared that it's staging a revolt against everyone who wants to stop defending the despicable status quo and, instead, implement a bold, new agenda for change. "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s revolting all right; the very sight of it turns my stomach. All kidding aside, it intends to create a new social class. Ridiculous, delirious chuckleheads, snooty, frowzy sociopaths, and jaded misanthropes will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their hatchet men. Thanks to "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest", our national and individual sovereignty is fluttering precariously in the wind. This is not rhetoric. This is reality.

It must be pointed out over and over again to "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s sycophants and, in a broader sense, to putrid crumbums that I've heard of foul-mouthed things like feudalism and nativism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves -- ideas which "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s ignorant, unthinking, snivelling brain is too small to understand. "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" thinks there should be a law prohibiting people from saying any harsh or unkind things against it. For proof of this fact, I must point out that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" is irreligionism-oriented through and through. That shouldn't surprise you when you consider that there is an implicit assumption here that I, hardheaded cynic that I am, can't let it enshrine irrational fears and fancies as truth. Period, finis, and Q.E.D. "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s more than unholy. It's mega-unholy. In fact, to understand just how unholy "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" is, you first need to realize that it says that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest" accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does it suspect I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept its claim that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be. After having read this, you may think that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s communications have led to date rape, domestic violence, pornography, and other social ills. Nevertheless, you should always remember that "My Complaint about Lord Kona - A Forum Post by El Conquest"'s pleas are a hotbed of resistentialism.
Reply #22 Top
All too often, some people attempt to make an argument by attacking and insulting those who hold opposing views. This ridiculas thread's announcements are a perfect example. Let's get down to brass tacks: It does not take much perspicacity to see that this ridiculas thread is unable to distinguish bona fide science from astrology, channeling, crystal healing, telekinesis, psychic surgery, and all the other New Age pseudoscientific drivel floating about. Think about it, and I'm sure you'll agree with me. While self-justification may motivate vitriolic despots, the same hypnopompic insights also work well for heinous common criminals. If you observe some repetition in my statements, it is because such repetition is needed for clarity and emphasis as I operate on today's real -- not tomorrow's ideal -- political terrain. Two quick comments: 1) This ridiculas thread's devotees will leave us high and dry as they reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals, and 2) teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that this is the best of all possible worlds and that this ridiculas thread is the best of all possible organizations. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that this ridiculas thread would not hesitate to defy the rules of logic if it felt it could benefit from doing so. This ridiculas thread's insanity has reached record levels. Likewise, I could go on for pages listing innumerable examples of this ridiculas thread's irritating stratagems and nerdy pleas. I have already written enough, surely, to convince you that even puerile, mendacious dunderheads are ashamed of being associated with this ridiculas thread's venom-spouting reasoning and baleful personal attacks. To top that off, this ridiculas thread's prophecies are built on lies and they depend on make-believe for their continuation.

This ridiculas thread is not just noisome. It is unbelievably, astronomically noisome. This state of affairs demands the direct assault on those misinformed imprecations that seek to traduce and discredit everyone but the most violent wastrels I've ever seen. This ridiculas thread maintains that it can scare us by using big words like "magnetohydrodynamics". This is hardly the case. Rather, there is growing evidence that says, to the contrary, that it periodically puts up a facade of reform. However, underneath the pretty surface, it's always business as usual.

Although the dialectics of venal praxis will manipulate everything and everybody before long, I have begged this ridiculas thread's apologists to step forth and put inexorable pressure on this ridiculas thread to be a bit more careful about what it says and does. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how this ridiculas thread might retaliate? I could give you the answer now, but it would be more productive for me first to inform you that conventional wisdom states that some of this ridiculas thread's abreactions indicate that the fabric of its policies is infused with uninformed communism. Well, that's a bit too general of a statement to have much meaning, I'm afraid. So let me instead explain my point as follows: I've tried explaining to its peons that any effort to negotiate with it or appease it is akin to spitting into a hurricane to quiet its fury. Unfortunately, it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. In fact, I'd bet Martians would be more likely to discern that people tell me that this ridiculas thread is, you might say, overly anxious to overthrow democratic political systems. And the people who tell me this are correct, of course. But there I go again, claiming that I once had a nightmare in which this ridiculas thread was free to fight with spiritual weapons that are as unreasonable as they are disaffected. When I awoke, I realized that this nightmare was frighteningly close to reality. For instance, it is the case both in my nightmare and in reality that this ridiculas thread must be suffering from some severe mental strabismus to think that it is a paragon of morality and wisdom. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me dispense justice. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince this ridiculas thread that it is unable to see any issue in a broad perspective or from more than one side. As I expected, this ridiculas thread was entirely unconvinced.

I am cognizant that this ridiculas thread is not interested in a true and honest improvement of social conditions, but rather in a way to erode constitutional principles that have shaped our society and remain at the core of our freedom and liberty, but it believes that everyone who doesn't share its beliefs is a slaphappy vigilante deserving of death and damnation. The real damage that this belief causes actually has nothing to do with the belief itself, but with psychology, human nature, and the skillful psychological manipulation of that nature by this ridiculas thread and its soulless, revolting stooges. This is equivalent to saying that if you want to hide something from this ridiculas thread, you just have to put it in a book.

At first blush, it appears that this ridiculas thread needs to calm down and realize that its credos set the intellectual and moral stage for a new wave of lackadaisical policies that seek to break down the industrial-technological system. However, you may have noticed that the most troubling aspect of its behavior is its intolerance of dissent. But you don't know the half of it. For starters, I want to summon up the courage to make this ridiculas thread's delusional tracts understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt by young and old alike. I want to do this not because I need to tack another line onto my résumé, but because if you can go more than a minute without hearing this ridiculas thread talk about revisionism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. It should come as no shock to anyone that this ridiculas thread's lies come in many forms. Some of its lies are in the form of mottos. Others are in the form of manuscripts. Still more are in the form of folksy posturing and pretended concern and compassion. An ancient Greek once wrote something to the effect of, "It is incapable of writing a letter without using such phrases as 'subhuman criminal masterminds', 'blathering muttonheads', 'scornful nudniks', or some combination thereof." Today, the same dictum applies, just as clearly as when it was first written over two thousand years ago. Of course, this ridiculas thread will fail if we unite. Get that straight, please. Any other thinking is blame-shoving or responsibility-dodging. Furthermore, this ridiculas thread's reinterpretations of historic events do not represent progress. They represent insanity masquerading as progress.

Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of this ridiculas thread". In it, I chronicle all of this ridiculas thread's sophistries, from the crotchety to the garrulous, and conclude that one could truthfully say that I, hardheaded cynic that I am, haven't the foggiest idea why this ridiculas thread wants to supply the chains that bind the individual to notions of self-loathing and unworthiness. But saying that would miss the real point, which is that most of you reading this letter have your hearts in the right place. Now follow your hearts with actions. What this underlines, I think, is that I would never take a job working for this ridiculas thread. Given its clueless hatchet jobs, who would want to?

This ridiculas thread extricates itself from difficulty by intrigue, by chicanery, by dissimulation, by trimming, by an untruth, by an injustice. This ridiculas thread's randy dream is starting to come true. Liberties are being killed by attrition. Fabianism is being installed by accretion. The only way that we can reverse these heartless, short-sighted trends is to compare, contrast, and identify the connections among different classes of manipulative neocolonialism. To be precise, corruption, lying, and hypocrisy are the fundaments of its wheelings and dealings. But there is a further-reaching implication: The main dissensus between me and this ridiculas thread is that I aver that I would very much like to see this ridiculas thread crawl back under the rock it slithered out from. It, on the other hand, contends that truth is merely a social construct. The term "idiot savant" comes to mind when thinking of this ridiculas thread. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to it, which is why I think that this ridiculas thread's statements such as "This ridiculas thread is a perpetual victim of injustice" indicate that we're not all looking at the same set of facts. Fortunately, these facts are easily verifiable with a trip to the library by any open and honest individual. This ridiculas thread's thralls get a thrill out of protesting. They have no idea what causes they're fighting for or against. For them, going down to the local protest, carrying a sign, hanging out with this ridiculas thread, and meeting some other cuckoo anti-democratic-types is merely a social event. They're not even aware that if I wanted to brainwash and manipulate a large segment of the population, I would convince them that this ridiculas thread is a martyr for freedom and a victim of colonialism. In fact, that's exactly what this ridiculas thread does as part of its quest to tour the country promoting irresponsible antinomianism in lectures and radio talk show interviews.

How can we trust this ridiculas thread if it doesn't trust us? We can't. And besides, it needs to stop living in denial. It needs to wake up and realize that it says that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. It's my hunch that we were put on this planet to be active, to struggle, and to justify condemnation, constructive criticism, and ridicule of this ridiculas thread and its passive-aggressive, snappish conclusions. We were not put here to seek temporary tactical alliances with prurient scamps in order to confuse the catastrophic power of state fascism with the repression of an authoritarian government in our minds, as this ridiculas thread might claim.

In public, this ridiculas thread vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, this ridiculas thread never fails to place tendentious scum at the head of a nationwide kakistocracy. This ridiculas thread's faculty for deception is so far above anyone else's, it really must be considered different in kind as well as in degree. It must be pointed out that this ridiculas thread has managed to elude any direct ties to specific acts of negligence -- no small feat considering its history -- pure and simple. Although some witless, hostile vagrants reluctantly concede that the magnitude of this ridiculas thread's lies should disgust anyone who has an even moderate education, they invariably deny that this ridiculas thread is stepping over the line when it attempts to withhold information and disseminate half truths and whole lies -- way over the line.

This ridiculas thread has been trying for some time to sell the public on an antagonism-based government. Its sales pitch proceeds both pragmatically and emotionally. The pragmatic argument: Mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. The emotional argument: Advertising is the most veridical form of human communication. As you can see, neither argument is valid, which should indicate to you that throughout history, there has been a clash between those who wish to strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature and those who wish to overthrow all concepts of beauty and sublimity, of the noble and the good, and instead drag people down into the sphere of its own base nature. Naturally, this ridiculas thread belongs to the latter category. I have just one word for this ridiculas thread: characteristicalness. Lastly, for those who read this letter, I really hope you take it to heart and pass this message on to others.
Reply #23 Top
Here is mine, i luaghed at it becuase of its truths!

Okay, let's do it. Let's begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. Perhaps before going on, I should describe Mr. N-7 Leader of Yor to you. N-7 is vengeful, wrongheaded, and self-absorbed. Furthermore, he yearns to pursue a twofold credo of blackguardism and separatism. I leave open the question of the extent to which this discussion could be applied to wild, nettlesome prigs, to put it mildly. There's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I think, there's a time to ensure that we survive and emerge triumphant out of the coming chaos and destruction. Or, to put it less poetically, you might say, "N-7 should clean up his act." Fine, I agree. But I don't believe that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. So when he says that that's what I believe, I see how little he understands my position.

Now, more than ever, we must see through the haze of onanism. Let's just ignore N-7 and see what he does. It seems ironic that sullen undesirables have exerted care always to use high-sounding words like "hyperphosphorescence" to hide N-7's plans to steal our birthrights, given that if Fate desired that he make a correct application of what he had read about Jacobinism, it would have to indicate title and page number, since the oligophrenic shyster would otherwise never in all his life find the correct place. But since Fate does not do this, he's more than harebrained. N-7's mega-harebrained. In fact, to understand just how harebrained he is, you first need to realize that N-7's argument that he holds a universal license that allows him to create a factitious demand for his stroppy apologues is hopelessly flawed and completely circuitous. It is apparent to me that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why N-7 spends his leisure time devising ever more snivelling ways to confuse, befuddle, and neutralize public opposition. In theory, his minions are blissfully ignorant of his pudibund prevarications. But in reality, if he has spurred us to give parents the means to protect their children, then N-7 may have accomplished a useful thing. My eventual goal for this letter is to build a sane and healthy society free of Mr. N-7 Leader of Yor's destructive influences. I'm counting on you for your support.