All Aboard!
Crazy Train
from 
JoeUser Forums
JoeUser Forums
I feel like I am on a never ending emotional rollercoaster these days.
Welcome to the Crazy Train.
Please buckle up and make sure to keep your hands in the upright position at all times!
I am not in control, and that is wrong!
I'm happy then sad, lonely, angry, I just can't keep up anymore. I'm lonely, I miss my hubby. I see him only for 30 minutes a day, until the weekends and then I see him part of Saturday and Sunday. We are on opposite shifts, it's driving me NUTS! nothing I can do.
I'm angry about that.... it's hard not to be. I get sad thinking there are some families that see family members less than I do.
It's hard, but this is what I asked for.
I have been doing a lot of thinking back, to the good ol' days. Those were great..... sigh......I wonder if we'll some of those again.
We both need that. We have let life just take over, getting stuck in a routine that we shouldn't be stuck in. Day in, Day out the same thing over and over again. When will the madness stop!
Sometimes I really believe I should have been rich! Who hasn't right??? lol
But really, I have to much difficulty keeping up with all this real world crap. How much stress should we have to endure? I let it dictate my life sometimes....too many times. Even my hubby says I stress too much. Ugh!
Do I? Geesh, probably, if he tells me this, the one person I can trust to be completely candid, then I should believe him. I hate getting older, the stress seems to be multiplying...so do the grey hairs! Which I have had since I was 23! Ick, did I just type that? I will not delete that since I have decided I will be completely honest here, with all of you...
I don't remember stressing this much when I was 23 though, I had issues, but no more than anyone else, I'm sure. Bad roomates, money, (who doesn't) I know everyone goes through the same things, I guess mine seem bigger because......there mine.
I'm probably not making much sense to any of you, if anyone happens to be reading this.
That's alright, I'm writing this in part because I don't want to feel so alone and in part because I needed an outlet. My best friend and Soul Sister lives about 1000 miles away, and it is hard on her when I unload so much of this crap on her all at once, don't get me wrong she feels free to do it to me! I don't mind so much, I know she doesn't either, because again, we don't feel alone in our frustrations. She is after all my Soul Sister, I can tell her anything. My hubby isn't the only one I can trust to be completely candid, she will tell me how it is to keep my head on straight! I miss her horribly. She is one of those people you just love to be around. She is my inspiration. Maybe I will write an article about her later....
Everyone always talks about the meaning of life, and what it could possible be. Not me, the meaning in life will eventually present itself when the time is right. Who knows, maybe we all have to slow down before that time comes! Maybe that's why people who are on their death beds say they have found the meaning of life...the ones that can talk....maybe that's only in movies....geesh, I can't tell the diffence between reality and fiction anymore...
I think what this all boils down to is this: I need to slow down, I feel like doing so much but do so little. I am putting to much emphasis on my stress rather than on my life in a whole. I need to do so much...UGH! Ok, myabe I need to stop with the I needs and start doing!
I try to plan everything, planning doesn't work for me, it sets me up for failure.. no I am not "picking" on myself, I am being completely honest. I plan trips, they go wrong. I plan fun things with hubby, something goes wrong. (no not that!) Anything planned for us always goes wrong. The times we have been spontaneous, most of them go very well. I don't like being spontaneous all the time! I guess, you could call me a control freak! I am Capricorn!
Take care all. And thanks for riding the Crazy Train.
Remember this ride was free!
Welcome to the Crazy Train.
Please buckle up and make sure to keep your hands in the upright position at all times!
I am not in control, and that is wrong!
I'm happy then sad, lonely, angry, I just can't keep up anymore. I'm lonely, I miss my hubby. I see him only for 30 minutes a day, until the weekends and then I see him part of Saturday and Sunday. We are on opposite shifts, it's driving me NUTS! nothing I can do.
I'm angry about that.... it's hard not to be. I get sad thinking there are some families that see family members less than I do.
It's hard, but this is what I asked for.
I have been doing a lot of thinking back, to the good ol' days. Those were great..... sigh......I wonder if we'll some of those again.
We both need that. We have let life just take over, getting stuck in a routine that we shouldn't be stuck in. Day in, Day out the same thing over and over again. When will the madness stop!
Sometimes I really believe I should have been rich! Who hasn't right??? lol
But really, I have to much difficulty keeping up with all this real world crap. How much stress should we have to endure? I let it dictate my life sometimes....too many times. Even my hubby says I stress too much. Ugh!
Do I? Geesh, probably, if he tells me this, the one person I can trust to be completely candid, then I should believe him. I hate getting older, the stress seems to be multiplying...so do the grey hairs! Which I have had since I was 23! Ick, did I just type that? I will not delete that since I have decided I will be completely honest here, with all of you...
I don't remember stressing this much when I was 23 though, I had issues, but no more than anyone else, I'm sure. Bad roomates, money, (who doesn't) I know everyone goes through the same things, I guess mine seem bigger because......there mine.
I'm probably not making much sense to any of you, if anyone happens to be reading this.
That's alright, I'm writing this in part because I don't want to feel so alone and in part because I needed an outlet. My best friend and Soul Sister lives about 1000 miles away, and it is hard on her when I unload so much of this crap on her all at once, don't get me wrong she feels free to do it to me! I don't mind so much, I know she doesn't either, because again, we don't feel alone in our frustrations. She is after all my Soul Sister, I can tell her anything. My hubby isn't the only one I can trust to be completely candid, she will tell me how it is to keep my head on straight! I miss her horribly. She is one of those people you just love to be around. She is my inspiration. Maybe I will write an article about her later....
Everyone always talks about the meaning of life, and what it could possible be. Not me, the meaning in life will eventually present itself when the time is right. Who knows, maybe we all have to slow down before that time comes! Maybe that's why people who are on their death beds say they have found the meaning of life...the ones that can talk....maybe that's only in movies....geesh, I can't tell the diffence between reality and fiction anymore...
I think what this all boils down to is this: I need to slow down, I feel like doing so much but do so little. I am putting to much emphasis on my stress rather than on my life in a whole. I need to do so much...UGH! Ok, myabe I need to stop with the I needs and start doing!
I try to plan everything, planning doesn't work for me, it sets me up for failure.. no I am not "picking" on myself, I am being completely honest. I plan trips, they go wrong. I plan fun things with hubby, something goes wrong. (no not that!) Anything planned for us always goes wrong. The times we have been spontaneous, most of them go very well. I don't like being spontaneous all the time! I guess, you could call me a control freak! I am Capricorn!
Take care all. And thanks for riding the Crazy Train.
Remember this ride was free!