I Need You to Be Broken

To My Future Love

from JoeUser Forums

I need your hands to be calloused and your knees to be bruised.  I need to know that tears have marked your face and pain has smudged the rouge of your heart. 

I need to know that you’ve seen hell, that you’ve lived there, and that you fought to get out.  I need to know that you do not covet comfort, stability, or permanence.  You need to hold the awareness in your soul that the deepest beauty only acquaints itself with wreckage and rubble.

Someone before me needs to have held your heart with both hands and slowly dug their nails into it while you watched.  I need you to hold in your line of vision the dripping blood sliding down her fingers and onto the floor.  I need you to be reluctant in giving up this scarred organ again.

I hope that you have seen death, that you have seen addiction, that you have seen deterioration, and that you have known lost love.  I want you to tell me about all the mistakes you’ve made, consciously or otherwise, and I want to share in the magic that is imperfection. 

I want most of your life lessons to have been learned through error, because where’s the story with the absence of conflict?  Change needs to have broken you and caught you off guard, thus only making you appreciate it’s splendor that much more. 

I need you to be this person, not because I want to fix you, but because the ocean will never understand the pond.

 

Trinitie   

dating
15,665 views 35 replies
Reply #1 from JoeUser Forums Top
Very, very good. I am as impressed as I am envious. Excellent, excellent writing here. Insightful if there ever was one...
Reply #2 from JoeUser Forums Top
the ocean will never understand the pond.


For one, love is a decision. For the other, it can't be helped. To decide to love is one of the most incredible acts of letting go.

Very nice Trinitie.
Siege of Centauri
Reply #3 from JoeUser Forums Top
very well done trin... it would make a great song!
Charissa
Reply #4 from JoeUser Forums Top
trin, i'm speechless. reading this, i feel like someone rewound me back to the woman i was to become when i met my husband. this is truly beautiful and thankyou for sharing it.

mig xxx
Reply #5 from JoeUser Forums Top
My b/f told me to take a look at this article...he says it impressed and made him envious at the same time... I can see why.

Achingly beautiful is how I would describe it.
Reply #6 from JoeUser Forums Top

i'm back, trin. i just had to read this again. i was thinking ... i have a friend who i think would really enjoy your work, and i was wondering if you'd mind if i sort of 'introduced' him to your blog somehow ?. let me know. thanks .

mig xxx

Reply #7 from JoeUser Forums Top
I am as impressed as I am envious.


Powerful writing my little sister. Are you the ocean or the pond? ( I wan't to be somewhere in between )
Reply #8 from JoeUser Forums Top
Good to see you again, Trin...nice write.
Reply #9 from JoeUser Forums Top
Beautiful, Trinitie. Powerful. I don't know what else to say.
Reply #10 from JoeUser Forums Top

Wow, guys.  I'm overwhelmed.  You know what's funny, though?  All I can think about, because of my stupid human mind, is why no one enjoyed my other recent articles.  ....I'm such a loser.

Shovelheat said: 

I am as impressed as I am envious

InBloom said: 

My b/f told me to take a look at this article...he says it impressed and made him envious at the same time...

So, for a sec, I thought you guys were together.  Then, I looked at Shovelheat's recent article and he says he has a wife.  So, coincidence?  Fill me in guys.

Funny thing, though, Shovelheat.  I thought you were a girl.  Hehehehehe...

 

Reply #11 from JoeUser Forums Top

X-tine said: 

For one, love is a decision. For the other, it can't be helped

I'm sorry, man, but that made absolutely no sense, to me anyway...  If love were a decision, then it could be helped, right?  I'm going with the second theory.  It can't be helped.  You can't decide who you want to love.

Charissa:  Girl, you know Ima be famous some day. 

reading this, i feel like someone rewound me back to the woman i was to become when i met my husband

Mignuna:  Will you explain that, please?  Btw, why would I care if you introduced a new reader to my blog?  That would please me .....

Reply #12 from JoeUser Forums Top

Are you the ocean or the pond?

What do you think, Banana?

Good to see you again, Trin...nice write.

Tu eres mi heroe.

Gives this an A+! (and a cookie.)

LW, you know you my girl.  I love cookies.

HC, thank you.  That adjective, "powerful" is used in reference to me, my work, my name, my attitude, my life quite often.  I think it's the most flattering of them all.

Trinitie

Reply #13 from JoeUser Forums Top
~~So, for a sec, I thought you guys were together. Then, I looked at Shovelheat's recent article and he says he has a wife. So, coincidence? Fill me in guys.~~

Actually, my sweetie's name is udigitthemost (he blogs on here sometimes). He read it, but didn't respond. He then suggested I read it since he thought it was so good. And I see that many people agree!
Reply #14 from JoeUser Forums Top
You can't decide who you want to love.



Yes you can, to an extent. It's incredible to get to the point where you CAN open and close emotional doors. When you can choose to love a person. But, it's usually not until AFTER those things you've described. The bruised knees...the wounded heart.

Reply #15 from JoeUser Forums Top

Maybe so, but I don't think I'd want to, Xtine. 

Trinitie

Reply #16 from JoeUser Forums Top
Well, hot-damn, that was fantastic. This piece made me think about how we often all crave the wrong characteristics in people we want near us. We pretend that we deserve someone free of flaws and that we want to judge on having never made mistakes. no one can live up to these expectations. So bring on the baggage, the bad memories and the good, that's the only way to get close to anyone.

Good work Trin,
Ted
Reply #17 from JoeUser Forums Top

Ted,

Sometimes I think that craving ....what this article states....is wrong.  You know why?  Because I'm in love with someone who encompasses perfection, and you may not think that a possibility, but if you knew the guy, you'd understand.

There's something holding me back from loving him completely, though.  And that, my friend, is what this article is about.  I need him to be something, to have memories, to be broken.  And I know that will never be. 

Ugh....just Ugh.

Trinitie

Reply #18 from JoeUser Forums Top
wow, awesome
Reply #20 from JoeUser Forums Top
lol trin i was thinking I'd turn it into a song. lol. I have no doubt you'll be famous some day
Reply #21 from JoeUser Forums Top

wow, awesome

I know I am.

Excellent! Makes me proud of my own battle scars...

As it should.

I have no doubt you'll be famous some day

Funny thing:  Me either. 

Trinitie 

Reply #22 from JoeUser Forums Top
reading this, i feel like someone rewound me back to the woman i was to become when i met my husband
Mignuna: Will you explain that, please?


that was a bit ambiguous of me. what i meant was that until i met my husband, i underestimated the importance of empathy in a relationship. (although of course we don't have share exact maps of life experience).

the lives we had prior to meeting and getting married weren't perfect by a long way, yet it was the 'fuck-ups' we made that helped us emotionally prepare to 'tough out' a lifelong relationship.

(and i, in particular, need to fail in front of a sympathetic audience, or else i'll never try !).

as for the 'friend' thing, i showed this piece to a (younger) male friend who enjoyed it a lot, so instead of some stranger appearing on your blog, i just wanted to mention it. his name is chris if he pops up anywhere.

and i'm glad to see you got the kudos you deserve for this piece, it really is exceptional.

mig xxx
Reply #23 from JoeUser Forums Top
Sometimes I think that craving ....what this article states....is wrong. You know why? Because I'm in love with someone who encompasses perfection, and you may not think that a possibility, but if you knew the guy, you'd understand.
There's something holding me back from loving him completely, though. And that, my friend, is what this article is about. I need him to be something, to have memories, to be broken. And I know that will never be.


There's as much in this as your blog.

You want someone deeply real. No matter how much you may think this guy is perfect (if I knew him) he's not. No one is. Until you risk you don't loose. You want someone who has gone for broke and been honest about the wins and losses, and yet is humble and secure. There arent many of those, sweetie.

I love your blog, and am amazed at how many others do also.

Tractorman
Reply #24 from JoeUser Forums Top

and am amazed at how many others do also

Paul, I'm sorry, but that was like a burn incognito.  (for the older audience, "burn" here is equivilent to insult)

No matter how much you may think this guy is perfect (if I knew him) he's not.

Oh, you definately know him.    As always, I love hearing from you, man.  I'm sending Dan a package and there are gifts for you and Charissa in there, too.

Trinitie

Reply #25 from JoeUser Forums Top
This is easily the best piece of yours I've read. Masterfully done! Beautiful! Buddah